Confessions

I have had so many people thank me for my honesty on this blog lately. I haven't really thought about my level of truthfulness until those remarks of gratitude were given. I think I naturally wear my heart on my sleeve, and thanks to my upbringing, I often hear the term TMI, which just means I'm obviously not scared to express myself. However, I also believe that when you are going through something difficult, it's much easier to be raw and real in front of others, even complete strangers. Often times, it is these "real" moments that bridge the gap between hearts and allow us to live truth.

I must confess, this marathon is really all over the place. It's like I hit mile 7, and I can't believe I'm only at mile 7! This past weekend, I felt covered in prayer, peace, and love. Matthew and I enjoyed a much needed date night, our little Levi enjoyed a quiet and restful weekend, and our big boy had a blast at our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt.  I really just felt joy at my life and trust that Levi is in good hands and will be through this before I know it! Then cloudy Monday came and my attitude changed with it.

He caught on to the hunting concept pretty quick when he saw candy in the eggs.

I confess I have always been scared of grown-man sized bunnies. I hate them! For some reason Silas thought he was his new best friend.

I was trying to avoid this guy like the plague, but Silas loved him way more than Santa!

Love his bubble-blowing face!

Levi's nurse told us Sunday night that he had started having "episodes" again and was spitting up a lot of his feedings. Because it was strange how much he was vomiting, the doctor ordered a slew of infection tests Monday morning.
Patience is the name of this game... I heard recently that you can't ever really learn patience without going through something really hard, which actually forces you to be patient without your ability to function otherwise.
I feel helpless right now. I'm waiting to hold him again; I'm waiting for him to get off the vent; I'm waiting for some good news; I'm waiting for some bad news; I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. But I'm so grateful to learn patience because I sincerely hope to be a surprisingly patient person by the end of all this. It's a virtue too few of us possess these days.
The pity party started Monday night and bled into today. Then God blessed me with a couple of nurses who not only distracted me with their sweet conversations, but showed me different lives that all come with challenges at one stage or another. With their love for the Lord, I realized that if mommy falls apart, so does the rest of the family. I have to put on my big girl pants (like I've been asking both my baby boys to do lately), and saturate myself with Truth. How can I expect my boys not to complain if mommy complains when handed a curve ball.

Then we found out that Levi has a UTI (bladder infection), which is most likely the cause of his recent issues. This is probably the easiest to treat, most expected, and least scary of infections that he could have contracted. It is our prayer that after getting this infection under control, Levi will be more ready to get off the ventilator!

Come on mile 8!  Let's do this.

Silas just learned how to put his hands in his pockets and wear his own backpack. When did you turn seven!?! Stop growing please!

Thank you for your constant prayers and support. They mean more to us than we could ever express!

Please continue to pray for our little Levi:
His strength, his infection to clear up, his lungs and breathing, and next week he has an eye exam to see if his retina attached correctly and whether he has a risk of partial blindness!

There's real power in prayer and we thank you for being our warriors!

~True Buster