Thursday, April 30, 2015

Praying without ceasing

There are times when I feel almost too tired to pray, or just prayerfully uninspired. However, it is those moments that I begin to realize why we believe in the "mysterious" Holy Spirit. Not only does God's spirit speak for me and teach me how to pray, but I've been utterly astounded at all the prayers we are receiving around the globe from other people lifting us up in our weakness. Our little tiny family, who is no more special than another, is being covered with prayers all over the Southeast, New England, Nevada, California, Arizona, Italy, Japan, and Israel to name a few! It's utterly astounding to hear that prayers are whispered on our behalf from people we have never met and may never get the chance to thank.
As I dryly moved throughout the week, I desperately wanted something look forward to. While celebrations will come and go, I realized that many people want to escape their reality through various modes of coping. However, it is in the reality that we begin to feel alive if we'll only sit still and quiet long enough to hear God's truth. Just when I needed to hear Him most, He again spoke to my unbelieving heart.  First I read from an old-time devotion by Oswald Chambers. On yesterday's date he writes,
Our natural inclination is to be so precise--trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next--that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty... when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.
This was written perfectly for me in my constant desire to navigate our families next steps. Then this morning I randomly began to read Luke 11, teaching about prayer. It states that we should be bold in our prayers and when we ask, "it will be given to us." Well, what about all those who pray to rid life of the unexpected hardships and evils? This is a theological topic I don't have time to tackle right now. However, I realized that I need to not only pray with more boldness, but realize that even if I don't receive the exact thing I've prayed for, I will receive something far better in the end (most of us just can't see past our present moment). When we begin to align our lives with God's, we begin to pray more like Jesus. And when we pray more like Jesus, we begin to feel blessed in any and all circumstances because we begin to see life with His eyes and not our own.

All of that to say, THANK YOU. Again and again thank you for praying for our little family.

And, not only do I have a sweet anniversary weekend coming up tomorrow (something wonderful to look forward to), but now my little Levi is back on some slow tube feedings! Both exciting events!

Join us as we continue to pray for sweet little Levi and any and everyone that crosses your mind today because we could all use a little more prayer!

Check out Levi's precious new boot! 

Loving you from the NICU.

~Prayerful Buster

Monday, April 27, 2015

Longsuffering

The word "longsuffering" is synonymous with patience, yet it wasn't until this season of my life that I understood how they could share the same meaning. At times I may not feel as if I am truly suffering in any way, but my patience is forced to grow because our length of suffering is extended. People continuously ask me if I have any idea when Levi will be at home with us. Unfortunately, I really don't know, nor do any of the doctors or nurses caring for Levi. Only God and Levi know that one.

I didn't get a great report today from the doctor.... not bad.... just not awesome. Just the same minor setbacks and waiting, waiting, waiting on what will happen next. Levi's abdomen is not 100 percent clear, but looking much better! They do believe he has a minor case of NEC colitis, but because of so much prayer (in my humble opinion) it is a very very minor case. Thank you! They believe it's this minor colon infection because his white blood cell count was so low. Thus, he will finish his antibiotics on Wednesday and reintroduce his feedings with a "hypoallergenic" human milk fortifier on Thursday (just in case they are wrong and it's an allergy). Because he doesn't have food going into his stomach, he had to stop his "secretion" medicine (the stuff helping lessen his excessive saliva). The frustrating part is that with excess saliva, Levi is now needing more oxygen support, so they had to turn the bubble cpap up. Another little setback. I asked the doctor if he will eventually outgrow the secretion issues, and she said that they hope that's the case because otherwise it could be indicating a swallowing issue. Babies are usually able to start feedings my mouth by 34 or 35 weeks gestation. Levi is 35 weeks and some change, but he has not been able to do anything but a feeding tube because he's still on the bubble. Until his lungs are stronger, we won't know if he's able to swallow well or not. However, he'll have to have his very first feedings done by bottle from a food therapist for sure.
There are so many conflicting factors that slow down Levi's recovery process, yet without the slowness, we would be pushing an already fragile life too far. So I am thankful beyond belief for each and every doctor and nurse that cares for our son, but after almost two months living at Northside, Levi could still be there for several more unless miraculous strides occur. I trust and believe God's perfect plan for little Levi, and I cling to these truths for fresh air while I develop my own longsuffering:

Psalm 46:1-3
Psalm 71:20-21
Matthew 11:28
Lamentations 3:22-23
Isaiah 26:3

This video gives my heart a happy dance every time I watch it... I have so much to be thankful for...

Praises!
~ Levi just hit the 5 pound marker!
~Levi's tummy is getting better daily!
~Levi's white blood cell count is back up!
~Levi smiled at me again when I sang Amazing Grace!

Prayers-
~For Levi to learn to swallow his saliva better so he doesn't choke
~For Levi to have stronger lungs
~For Levi's tummy to be completely clear and ready for food by Thursday
~For Levi to be able to nurse well one day soon
~For Silas' and my cold symptoms to be completely gone so I don't have to wear a mask around Levi
~For our family to stay close during this period of patience

Thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts.
~CC

Friday, April 24, 2015

Minor Setback

Please send up some quick prayers for little Levi. The doctor decided to do an x-ray on Levi's abdomen due to the severe choking and spitting up. It turns out his intestines were swollen. This can be extremely serious and indicate a form of colitis or infection in his colon. Levi was immediately tested for the infection, given antibiotics in case the tests were positive, taken off of all feedings, given IV fluids to maintain his nutrition, and put into a different kind of bed to access the IVs quicker.

Thankfully the first two tests came back negative, but because it's so serious, the doctor said they have to continue as if it's a false negative for another couple of days before they'll ween the antibiotics and re-introduce milk slowly. If the x-rays and tests continue to show a negative infection, the swelling could also be an indicating an allergic reaction. I don't have details on that yet, but please pray that this is in fact what they call a "minor setback," and little Levi will miraculously be better and able to handle nutrients again.

Thank you so much for your continued love and prayers!

~Coffee Cub Buster

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Words

 Words really are some of the most powerful weapons in the world. Even the Bible would agree with me as there are numerous occasions to note in scripture where our speech produces catastrophic or life-giving results: thus, my eternal love for language.
Recently at the hospital, I was on the receiving end of some words that were not meant to sting, but in fact created more swelling than the speakers ever realized.
The last two days, Levi has struggled with some reflux and digestion issues. Since eating has always been part of his positive remarks, I was of course disappointed. Moreover, it may be the culprit of his most recent episodes. In fact I've not been able to really hold him because he's had those episodes right in my arms. Last night, Levi's numbers began to come down as I rested him against me, and he very quickly turned a blue-grey color and both his oxygen and heart-rate dropped dramatically. As several nurses came to the rescue to stimulate and help him recover, one sweet nurse said, "when their eyes glaze over and roll up like that, I swear they are looking at their guardian angels saying, 'I'm not ready yet'." While I'm sure this was intended to give me hope that he is constantly watched over (and I do believe in angels), it had the exact opposite effect. I never, ever imagined that each time Levi struggled, he was facing his death... I almost lost it completely.
When I solemnly got to my car and gave my usual parking pass to the attendant, she looked at it and exclaimed, "You renewed it again. Your baby is still here!?!" I just wanted to shout at her, "YES, AND THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME!"
I know that neither of these women had ill intentions, but it just goes to show the amount of grace we have to give one another because we are all in different states of life, and we don't know how our words affect each other. Without grace, we'd all walk wounded, hating everyone and everything.


 But words can also be unbelievably healing. I've been on the receiving end of some of the sweetest and most encouraging words I've ever heard. Thanks to each of you reading this, I am constantly reminded of the goodness in the world. As hard as it is to watch my little boy suffer, I know that I am not the only one having to watch someone I love hurt.
Whether it's a child making decisions that break your heart piece by piece, a spouse who's chosen a road that you believe will break your marriage in half, a parent who you feel like you are having to parent yourself, or some other relationship that involves you having to stand by and helplessly watch someone you love experience pain that you wished you could erase, we all experience suffering in our own way and in our own time. It truly gives the foundation of my faith purpose. Why would anyone want to watch their supposed savior and king suffer on a cross the way that Jesus' followers did? Because He knew we'd all suffer one day, and we needed a way out. I'm thankful that their is purpose in our pain.
As I drove home today from yet another disappointing visit with Levi, I remembered that I have prayed many times to never be "comfortable or stagnate in my life." I've found that when things are easy, and I get too comfortable, I lose the ability to really hear God's voice.
But today I heard him loud and clear:  "You are still going to this hospital because I still have people for you to meet. You don't know the people that will come across your path, but it's not always for you to know. Trust me. Lean on me. I'll carry you when you get tired because I love you, and I love Levi more than you could ever know."
So no matter what season you are in, rest assured that you are where you are for a reason. Don't rush it; don't waste it; and don't think that it's always about you. Choose to trust. Choose to love even when the world doesn't.


 In honor of staying strong, I asked Silas to show me his muscles... this was his pose.

Thank you for those of you who prayed!  Levi's eyes looked good again, and Matthew was able to hold and comfort him that day before the test. However, he'll still get another eye exam in another two weeks to check the maturity and progress.


Please continue to pray for Levi's breathing, as well as his new digestive issues. Also, please continue to pray for strength and patience as we endure the road ahead.


God bless you!

~Wordy Buster

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Holding onto Hope

Just when I thought I might have to stop running the marathon and begin walking at my own sorry pace, I was given glimpses of pure joy and hope that now keep my pace to a slow jog. As I began to feel a lack of patience and a lousy perspective, from a lack of sleep and a stunted routine, my two year old reminded me of the joy in puddles. In the same vein of lemons, the rain was not a mood killer for the Silas. Instead, it was as if he had never experienced the utter ecstasy of jumping into standing water and watching the ripples rise around his ankles. As much as I wanted to return to the dryness of our home, I had to linger to capture his adventure, and do a little stomping of my own.

 For some reason, Silas has decided to begin waking up in the middle of the night, as well as argue against the coveted afternoon nap. I'm told this is a common phase with all his new found imagination, but I think he's still trying to compete with Levi. Nevertheless, I am maintaining a shortness of REM hours like any other new mom. So I say why not start him on some caffeine too?!
In case you can't sense the sarcasm in plain type, don't worry... it's just water! ;)

 More of those drops of hope occurred yesterday when I found out little Levi was well enough to leave his isolate and join the world in a crib!  I was ecstatic to see my little one looking at my picture when I arrived! While he still had a couple episodes, he seemed to love his new digs!
When I have to leave my little Levi, these boys sure make it easier to come home! Gotta get this picture up for Levi to see too.

 Even more strides occurred just this morning. I showed up to witness Levi getting a different kind of "training wheels". The next step in his respiratory strengthening would be to move to a "high flow" oxygen and then to a mere cannula (like you'd see in an elderly person). But the doctor felt that he was ready to try to RAM (can't recall what it stands for) where he has less scuba gear, but still the bubble of pressure.
As they switched out his tubing, I got a quick pic of him. I was reminded that his head will not always be so oblong, his eyes will not be so swollen, and his nose will not stay pig-like. This is all a side effect of the CPAP pressure and gear. He's still so pliable that everything will change drastically by the time he's home. While I appreciated the reassurance, I also wouldn't mind if he was a little piggy. :)

Thank you so much for continuing to lift our little family up to the Lord. I really don't know how anyone can experience life's unexpected roller coasters without heavenly support.

I just read an amazing story of encouragement and strength to overcome some of life's greatest hurdles:  read Cliff Young's story here.

Praise!
~ Levi is out of the isolate!
~Levi weighs 4 pounds 5.8 ounces!
~Levi is getting stronger lungs!
~Levi's kindey scan was great!
~Levi's feet are now taped in splints and doing good!
~Levi's hand looks better and stronger daily!

Prayers-
~Levi has another eye test today
~Levi still has some episodes so he needs to get stronger with regard to his lungs
~Levi's ability to try nursing and bottle feeding in the coming weeks
~Silas' ability to sleep soundly
~Matthew and my energy, strength, and time together

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

~Hopeful Buster

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Extra Support

Some days we just need that extra shot of espresso, or the second cup of coffee just to make it until tomorrow. Those days have been more frequent for me lately. The last 24 hours has led me to ask for some extra shout out prayers and coffee shots. Nothing devastating, just another rough patch after a nice stride.

First, please pray for Matthew and I. Not only are we tired, but Matthew had a fever last night. We aren't sure what it was, and he seems a little better today, but I think the stress of everything has caught up to him, so I'm praying that Silas and I will stay healthy so that we can manage and continue to see our little Levi well.

I went to see my tiny man late last night. I haven't missed a day yet, and I pray to God I never have to skip a visit. Holding his strong hand, I realized how much I wish I could rock him to sleep every night. When my husband and children are not safe, comfortable, and peaceful, I don't feel like I am either.
I've never had a very close loved one serve over seas, but I imagine sitting around thinking about how much you them isn't the preferred method of coping.
Likewise, I don't sit around and think about how much I miss Levi because I wouldn't be very productive.

He's done well the last two weeks off the ventilator and on the CPAP, and he's up to 4 pounds! Such a direct answer to prayer! However, he's had more frequent apnea the last 48 hours and doctors and nurses are trying to figure out why. It happened three times this morning in the first 30 minutes I was there.
The doctor today hadn't seen Levi in two weeks, so he even tossed out the phrase, "we don't want to re-intubate him if we don't have to, but apnea isn't good for the brain either." I thought I was going to lose it at that point. Thankfully my sweet, favorite nurse was there to give extra TLC, details, and suggestions. First, they took off his chin strap because his chin is a bit recessed and may be making it hard to swallow. Second, the doctor ordered some "secretion" medicine to hopefully help dry up some of his mucus. Finally, they will keep him on his belly as often as possible, because he hardly ever has episodes on his stomach. They also increased his caffeine intake so that his brain is stimulated enough to remember to breathe. I mentioned I was happy to increase my caffeine intake too if that would help :) See.... coffee is a beautiful thing- Doctor recommended!

Prayer warriors, thank the Lord Levi is still off the vent, and praise God for his increased weight! Also, they have created a great splint for his hand, so hopefully it will yield good results.

Side note: I've had some people ask about his hand and feet- since breathing has been such a battle, I've forgotten to update about that (changes your perspective a bit). Besides the hand splint, they are still just doing rigorous stretching because splinting or bracing his hands and feet right now might be too much stress on him until his respiratory issues are under control. I did notice yesterday that his strong hand kept gripping tightly onto mine, and his weak hand couldn't grasp at all. Might heart was a little sad, but I'm trusting God with every aspect of Levi's body. He's not mine after all, just a precious life entrusted to me for a short time.

Prayer requests:
~They are weaning Levi's steroid intake slowly. Please pray he does well with this.
~Pray that his airway is not obstructed so that he can breathe better.
~Pray that he doesn't have any more apnea episodes.
~Pray that the secretion medicine helps and doesn't hinder his swallowing.
~Pray that his hand and feet would continue grow stronger and straighter. 
~Pray for the health of our family and times of rest.
~Pray for strength for all of us and a Kingdom perspective.
~Pray for the McMath family whose lives are undergoing serious stress with their little man battling cancer- a continuous perspective changer.

God bless you all. I don't know what we'd do without each one of you!

~Caffeine Buster

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Your story



Now that Levi has been off the vent for a little while and on the bubble CPAP (seen above), we have been encouraged to hold him every day! He can't be out of the isolate (incubator) for more than about an hour a day right now, so Matthew and I have traded off days for holding time. My Tuesday and Thursday mornings fill my heart as I get some one-on-one time with this little scrunch. Some nurses call it "head gear" and others call it "scuba gear" for obvious reasons, but it's hard to see his precious features under all that stuff, but let me assure you, he is beautiful. :)

Thank you so much for your prayers too! Levi's brain scan came back clear (but he'll probably have one or two more before he's out of the hospital to check the maturation), and he's starting to fill out a little each day.... around 3 pounds 7 ounces. 

This past weekend, I felt like I actually knew how to take care of little Levi for the first time!  I was holding him and offering him his pacifier, and he began to suck on it very hard! I was excited to see this new development, but quickly afterward, his oxygen levels began to drop. I was all alone with Levi and no nurses were rushing in to help. I calmly realized that he probably couldn't suck and breathe at the same time (I mean that's quite an accomplishment many of us don't advertise as our top talent), so I began to "stimulate" him by rubbing his back. His stats still weren't coming back, but I didn't feel stressed like I normally do. Instead, I repositioned him, took out the pacifier, and talked to him while rubbing his back. Soon his levels rose to a happy place. Our favorite nurse popped in after that and said she had been watching his stats and waiting the whole time. I was actually thankful she held back so that I could gain a little motherly confidence.
More over, every time I sing or hum "Amazing Grace" to Levi, he either opens his eyes or smirks at me. It's amazing! I'm thanking God he his allowing us a connection that I thought I lost being away from him for so many hours at a time.

Finally, I have to share another blessing from this past weekend. That favorite nurse who's had Levi for most of the past week is that same nurse who took care of Silas two years ago. She and I have really opened up with each other, and I actually ended up sharing Matthew's and my story with her.
If you know anything about us, you know God led us down a terribly rocky road six years ago and only by His grace were we redeemed, re-made, and re-engaged into the couple we are today. She sincerely thanked me for sharing and said that several things I talked about spoke to her personally where she's at in her own marriage. She told me that you never know how your story can touch someone else's life, so it's important to always be open and ready to share it. What a gift! I instantly felt that perfect purpose that God has for each of our stories, and I'm so excited that Levi's has begun with such an unbelievable start.

Please pray for our family to remain one during this roller coaster and remain open to God's will.
Please also pray for Levi to continue to get stronger and closer to being able to come out of the isolate.
Finally, please pray for our thoughts to remain in the present. There is still a long road ahead with many unknowns (feeding/nursing, therapy, respiratory-assistance, physical therapy, vision, hearing, etc.).

Thank you so dearly for your love!

~Sharing Buster

Friday, April 10, 2015

Silas is 2!

I am so very proud of all my boys right now. I feel like we've hit a little stride in this marathon. Silas is two today! He's rocking it in the big-boy underwear with only a handful of accidents. Little Levi is also rocking it on the cPap bubble gum (off the training wheels but still has mommy and daddy holding the back of the bike if we are sticking with this analogy). And my amazing husband is leading our family decisions, carrying those extra loads at our house, and handling details with regard to real-life logistics all so that I can breathe a little extra air. I just thank God daily for creating Matthew. He also held Levi for the first time! (Had to rip off the band aid and trust he wouldn't break him.) He said he finally felt like a daddy of two and not just some weird hospital pregnancy on my part.

One of the things I hate most in the world is stressing, worrying, and even thinking frequently about temporal, surface-level, materialistic, (albeit normal) worldly stuff. And our current reality has forced all those thoughts to dissipate. It is a blessing I want to maintain even after this situation, God-willing, subsides. I don't want to return to my "normal" way of thinking. I am truly grateful and honored to be experiencing this hardship, if for no other reason than to weed out such useless and wasted energy.

I pray that Levi can come home and experience all the normal infant experiences, including providing me with sleepless nights because he's extra hungry. However, I pray that my response is abnormal in that I am grateful for his life and his ability to communicate with strong, wailing lungs. I know this is a lofty goal, and I know I can give myself grace to respond however I'd like, but I truly feel different, and I want to strive to never forget the peace in living moment-by-moment.

Thank you for that Levi, and thank you Lord!

Happy Happy Birthday to my first born son who changed our world for the better too! God allowed us to have the same nurse in the NICU this week that we had with Silas, we remembered her so much because of how amazing she is!  She's loved and cared for both our boys now!!! Amazing!
Love you Silas Cary Smith!

Prayer requests for Levi below...


Please pray for Levi to gain some more weight! While he's a pound heavier than he was at birth, the doctors want him to gain weight faster so other things can progress too.

Please also pray for his upcoming, repeat brain scan today, which they are just doing continuing to follow like his eyes for premature imaging reasons.

Thank you SO much for all your prayers!

~Birthday Buster

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

One Month Pic


I don't know who invented those cute little monthly signs for the first year of babies' lives, but I didn't know anything about it when I had Silas. I'm kind of glad I didn't do it though, cause poor Levi wouldn't have quite the same pizazz that his older brother did (or any full term baby for that matter) at one month.  Today is that day. Happy 1 month on this Earth sweet Levi! It has flown by more than you could possibly imagine with a plethora of medical knowledge and tubes and monitors I'd rather forget. But I will never ever regret your arrival for a minute. You've changed my life for the better already, and I thank God for this past month of learning and leaning.

This past week I've been able to see amazing ways that God has given me glimpses of my future in the past. Two years ago Silas came into this world, and he too went into the amazing Northside NICU as a full-term infant because of some fluid he ingested at birth. With fear and uncertainty, we would travel via elevator (instead of hwy 400) from my recovery room to his bedside. I distinctly remember holding Silas in my wheelchair and a very spunky and pleasantly-dressed (not in the same hospital gown I was wearing at the time) young girl coming into the NICU next to us. She and her husband warmly greeted Matthew and I, then enthusiastically exclaimed, "Oh he's going to be fine! He's nice and fat!" All I could think was, how do they know? And why are they so happy coming to a NICU!? what secrets do they know that I don't!? And why are they calling my baby fat!?!
I came to learn that she had brought twins into the world at around one pound each. She had already been traveling to Northside to visit and pump for about 30 days. I remember wondering why she seemed so cordial and upbeat.

I am now that girl!  Well, I didn't birth twins, but I know what it means to come to a hospital to visit your newborn day after day. I have had two different occasions this week to excitedly encourage other new parents who are new to the intensive care world. It's been a 360 degree glimpse, and a joy that only God could orchestrate. It's truly a gift, and I feel a sense of purpose every time I smile and congratulate a new parent in the NICU.

Please continue to pray- Levi has his eye exam supposedly around 6:00, and I will be there to comfort him afterwards. Babies born before 30 weeks are at risk of under-developed blood vessels in their eyes or their retinas not attaching correctly. Likewise, too much oxygen or not enough oxygen can hinder a preemie's vision, so please pray for his precious eyes to be well.
I am so thankful that a couple from our church, whose 3 month old has a tumor behind his eye, just posted how much they love their son's eye doctor who works for Thomas Eye Group in Sandy Springs. This is the practice that will see Levi tonight!!!! God is so good.

Praise- I got to hold Levi today, he was moving and letting out small cry-like whimpers like a strong boy, and then peacefully slept on mommy. He is still off the full vent and doing great on his "training wheels!"

Thank you so very much for all your love and prayers!

~360 Buster

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Praise

Thank you so much for praying!  Little Levi does not have Sepsis, and he's finishing up on His UTI antibiotics.  He's also been off of the ventilator since Thursday afternoon! He is on those training wheels I mentioned (the vent connected to the bubble cPap), which is a step in the right direction. Levi has had a few "episodes," one that I witnessed and could barely hold back tears as the doctor had to manually pump air into his lungs. However, we are consistently told that this is common for a preemie his size, and he could still go back to the vent if he's tired after a several days, but we are hopeful and praying for the best. One night nurse told us that he had too many episodes for her liking, so she called the doctor Friday night. Doc said if he dropped his stats one more time he would have to go back on the vent. He didn't do it the rest of the night! He's already listening and doesn't want to have a tube stuck down his throat if he can help it!

While I miss my little man being with our family for this glorious holiday weekend, I trust God is rocking him to sleep, so I wanted to soak up some precious moments with our Si man. Since Matthew had Friday off of work, we decided to start Silas' 2nd birthday celebration a week early with his first trip to the zoo!

My favorite lines from worship at church this Easter morning that I will continue to resound-

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because he lives all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives!"  

Amen!

~Praising Buster

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Overwhelmed


As an English teacher, I love words, lexicon, phonics, and the like. It's so interesting to me that a word can mean one thing to one person, and something completely different to someone else. The title of this post for instance may seem negative to many people, but really it's meant to be a positive adjective for my current mindset.
If you've ever heard the song, "Overwhelmed" by Big Daddy Weave, you'll understand what I mean.

I was just overwhelmed with good, rich love today. I have felt the love and prayers of so many that it's enabled me to feel God. I'm overwhelmed by what His love looks like in this world. My sweet students, whom I have left to care for my boys, put together a gorgeous array of real and handmade flowers with tear-jerking cards, and abounding generous gifts; Matthew received a precious handmade card from a co-worker's child for our little Levi.
Then there was the hold- I got to embrace my baby, skin to skin, today, which continues to utterly calm my spirit. It's truly time I feel I can go to sleep soundly and possibly never wake up again. Utter peace.

As I type this, I am told they are going to try to get Levi off the vent today. There was a potentially scary blood culture that ended up coming back positive for sepsis (blood infection), but the doctor is pretty confident this is just a "contaminate" or false positive and merely reflects the bladder infection we are already treating. However, they take it seriously, so Levi is also getting antibiotics for a possible blood infection just to be safe. We should know tomorrow whether or not he actually has a second infection in his blood stream.

Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers. I'm overwhelmed by each of you!


Please Pray:
1. For Levi to NOT have sepsis
2. For Levi to have success off the ventilator
3. For everyone we come in contact with to know the true love of Christ as we celebrate his death and resurrection this weekend. I saw so much on the news today with regard to Christians hatred and intolerance. We may be misunderstood, and we may screw up what Jesus intended for the world, but let us not stop trying to look more like Him!


God bless you!

~Overwhelmed Buster