Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Predictions and waiting

I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, and we decided to wait on finding out the gender. It was astonishing how many people were certain they "knew" my unborn child's sex, and the certainty was for both gender camps. Other people were merely astonished that we could wait at all. Most people are not very good at waiting because there is very little that we have to wait for in today's immediate gratification era. I'm certain that soon there will be a market for finding out your child's gender as soon as you find out your pregnant (although based on anatomy, I will doubt its legitimacy.) We have discovered ways to make everything faster and faster. Personally, I am thankful for the microwave as much as the next busy mom, but I've learned that patience is a muscle that when flexed enough, begins to be quite appealing. As I watch my little ones wait for Christmas morning, I have begun to accept the goodness in the wait. Too often the actual event that we are waiting for either doesn't live up to our expectations or merely can't be compared to our expectations.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 says, "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future." While I may be "good" at waiting on gender reveals or G-tube extractions, I am not very good at leaving my predictions at the door. However, the last sentence of this verse really cut me to the core. Because I am a planner (yes you can wait on the gender and still plan for a baby), I like to be prepared for what's ahead. I try to predict every sniffle or tummy ache as impending spreadable disease. I try to predict every good night's sleep as a potentially great start to the day. Yet the opposite of my predictions often occurs. The time in between, those times of waiting, making Christmas cookies, building gingerbread houses, wrapping presents, decorating or planning for each new season, tend to be sweet times that don't always receive the consideration they are due.
Last Christmas I was so excited to give Silas his first bike, but Christmas morning brought a nasty ear infection to my little man. Along the same vein, there have been blissful days of joy and laughter in our home that aren't marked by any special calendar date. There's no way to really know anything about our future, despite our best efforts at predictions. We must enjoy the present moment whether good or bad, it will not last forever.
When we wait for a job, a spouse, a season, a child, we get to expectantly enjoy the advent or arrival of something. Yet, like the predicted king arriving in a smelly stable, what we expect is usually nothing like what we imagined.  So enjoy the in between. Enjoy your waiting season.

We will wait and see what Levi's GI doc has to say on Monday, but in the mean time, I am thanking God he continues to eat by mouth, and grow just a little each day.

These boys couldn't wait to find leaf piles!

This boy can never wait patiently anywhere. He's king of his own hill.

While he's showing he's scared of many new things, he also has a sweet independence that I adore.

This growing boy doesn't seem scared of too much.... except for Santa...

The only way to get the two littles near Santa was for mommy and daddy to pose too. 

The boys couldn't wait to decorate the tree.

I always wanted to go crazy with tinsel as a little girl, so I had to let them.

But my grownup side had to clean it up. :) 
~Waiting Buster

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving = Giving Thanks

Thankful for Silas great school

Thankful I could go watch him sing

Thankful for this boys heart

Thankful for dates with my little man

Thankful this boy wants to be like his big brother

Thankful for Kyra's turkey cookies

Thankful we can visit our NICU nurses with gratitude

Thankful for this one bringing me so much joy

Thankful my dad made it to 60!

Thankful for thankful balloons even if they scared Roman

Thankful for little helpers

Thankful the boys have such an amazing dad

Thankful this one didn't break any bones without training wheels!

Thankful for joy


Happy Thanksgiving!  We are thankful for each one of you!

~Thankful Buster

Sunday, November 19, 2017


Sometimes I think all my children have G-tubes and I avoid tickling them all near the mid-left side of their stomachs...
Sometimes I look at Levi and remember what he looked like lying in his isolate wondering if he'd ever make it out alive...
Sometimes I forget to be grateful and I assume all my children should thank me daily for taking time to feed, clothe, and bathe them daily...
Sometimes I forget that my four-year old is only four because of his profound ability to communicate...
Sometimes I look at my one-year old and remember how faithful God has been to give us another healthy baby...
Sometimes I want to have fifty children because I can't get enough of my sweet boys...
Sometimes I want to yell and ask all my children to leave me alone...
Sometimes I want to tell everyone how fragile life is and to not sweat the small stuff...
Sometimes I sweat the small stuff...
Sometimes I want Levi to keep his G-tube so we can always have a visible reminder of God's miraculous hand...
Sometimes I want to pull out Levi's G-tube and just tell the doc it closed up by accident...
Sometimes I think I'm a great mom and wife...
Sometimes I think I'm a horrific mom and wife...
Sometimes I wish I were already in Heaven...
Sometimes I want to live until I'm a great-grandmother...
Sometimes I sing and dance and make music in my house...
Sometimes we sit quietly trying to find an ounce of patience left in our bones...
Sometimes my boys are all trying to be like each other and looking to grow up like someone they trust and admire...

Always, I hope that my hubby and I can look more like Jesus, so our little men will desire to look like Him too...

~Always Buster

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

forget me nots- Happy birthday Roman

When you become a parent, you consciously-subconsciously, pull from your subconscious and focus much of your energy recreating things you loved from your childhood, and making sure you work hard to foster the opposite styles of which you hated from your upbringing. Some people swing the pendulum a little too far and end up causing their own children to have a distaste for their opposite rearing. For example, if you were shown no physical affection as a child, you may cause your child to hate PDA due to their overexposure to it, or maybe their was zero communication in your house, so now your children have to roll their eyes at the constant TMI. Either way, we all like to focus on the good and forget the bad. While we may remember some of the "bad" a little too much from childhood, I think as we age, we only hold on to the good. At least this is my experience. I quickly forget all of my adult discomforts quite easily, until I'm reminded by someone else. I'm thankful that I can't really capture the bitter taste of hardship. Rather, once I'm through a tough day, I naively exclaim that it wasn't that bad. I hope that regardless of what my children remember from their childhood, I pray they remember they were loved well, that the hard was worth it, and that good is always right around the corner.
It's always fun to look back after that first year of life and amazingly only remember the sleep-filled nights! Roman, I cannot believe you are one! You are the most relaxed, sweet, simple, and silly boy. Your dance moved rock the house, and your voice will certainly be heard through these walls! I love how much you love your brothers, and I love how you keep on growing despite my efforts to slow you down! Happy birthday bugaboo. We love you!

Born on Veteran's Day, 6 lbs 2 oz, November 11, 2016.

~Birthday Buster

Friday, November 3, 2017

Multigenerational Halloween

Everywhere I turn, I'm hearing people talk about mentors, accountability partners, or influential advisors. It feels like everyone is yearning for trusted, wise counsel. This poses a wonderful and difficult problem. First, it's wonderful that we are learning how we can't do life singlehandedly. But it's also difficult to bridge the gap and open our hands and hearts on both ends.
Too often, people hold a badge of honor for their packed calendars. Quick texts and surface posts are serving as our relational barometers. On the other hand, those who have the time to pour into meaningful relationships don't have a true respect for those who are generationally or culturally different. I read an article recently that gave five ways to connect with other generations. It was based on the notion that our society needs to relearn the art of "relating" to one another. Since our current pastimes don't usually include "family-style" dinners, "table games," or "fireside chats," it's easy to forget how to patiently listen to the old tales of "yesteryear." Does that mean our mentors should be people who have walked in exactly the same path we are currently enduring so that we can simply gain a quick and easy answer to our problem? Not necessarily. But they should be people who are living a life that you admire, who are open to loving you, and who are willing to humbly exchange skills.
The article explained that, "Our modern, marketing-driven lifestyles have us carefully sectioned out. We get names like boomers, Xers, millennials, and Gen Y, and then the world offers us products and services geared to our specific demographic. But what is lost as we try to experience life and all its joys and sorrows with only the company of others in our age group? Connection. Perspective. And wisdom. These are the gifts of multigenerational relationships" (Fischer, Paige Porter, Real Simple Magazine Oct 2017).
Moreover, just because you are considered young or old doesn't mean you fit into your generational label. I happen to be on the cusp of my birth-year's nomenclature, as well as the line of my zodiac sign. While I could care less about these labels, I think it's essential that we see accountability and multigenerational relationships with mutual respect. My husband recently talked with someone more than a decade younger, but he explained his fervent respect for this young man because he recently traded in his iPhone for an old-fashioned flip phone. When curious about this millennial's unique choice, my husband learned that the young lad simply realized his need for margin in his life: margin between his screen time and his authentic relationships and respite. Wow. Don't judge a book by it's cover is a cliche for a reason. Both parties in a mentor-relationship need to see the need for receptivity. When our "elders" (for lack of a better term) snub their nose at the newest technology, or refuse to change their ways or learn something new, it creates a stumbling block for themselves and for those who desire their counsel. Thus, for the sake of wisdom-exchange, both parties must embrace the gifts of connection, perspective, and wisdom learned from their counterpart. When you can get outside of yourself, you begin to grow in new ways. If we never stop growing, we never stop connecting, and if we never stop connecting, we will stop living solely for ourselves.

 It's been so interesting watching our street turn from the 21st century back a couple generations for the sake of cinematography.

Just sitting on our driveway watching a live film

When asked if the crew could spread leaves on our new grass so that it matched the season of the film, we said we'd only allow it if the boys could assist!

The boys LOVED throwing leaves everywhere. Child labor ... that's enjoyable.

Si-man rode his first Farris Wheel downtown and just beamed after seeing the city up high

Halloween always holds a special place in our heart because it's  someone's bday too!

~Multigenerational Buster