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Showing posts from August, 2018

Ask and Receive

As the saying goes: Ask and you shall receive. Although it's not a cliche saying, it's actually biblical.  Whoever asks, it will be given; whoever seeks will find; whoever knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7) . However, like much of the Bible, we've become accustomed to  taking verses out of context and assuming we should be able distort truth without any due process. This childish mindset allows flawed man to a la carte our faith until much of the world chooses to ignore a relationship with God all together. I digress... When I asked for difference and change recently, I (as per usual) neglected to recognize that change takes more forms than I realize. My true NICU baby who has never had a problem sleeping, never desired any form of comfort in his bed starting screaming violently, throwing himself on the floor, and causing himself such intense anxiety that he was making himself sick at bedtime. He only goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday for a few hours, so t

Different

The song entitled " Different " by Micah Tyler speaks perfectly to my life's desires right now.... Once I desired sameness.... balance.... comfort....control... Once I prayed for the ability to hear, see, and know what was best.... Once I prayed for pattern...routine...preparedness.... Once I prayed that my children would be able to look like the rest of the children in the world.... Before I was afflicted, I went astray; but now I keep Your word." Psalm 119:67 Now I desire difference.... I pray I will learn to listen.... only respond to an accurate vision....live in the unfamiliar I pray I never stay the same...move away from gaining the world....give up everything.... I pray my children never look like the world's standards.... I wonder if or when Levi will ask me about some of his little "Levi differences." Two "belly buttons," slow and quiet in speech, weak in muscles, a smaller hand, turned feet, and prone to vomit daily (as

Too much sweetness

Winnie the Pooh always offers a dollop of kindness and wisdom, but in his own life, Winnie is seriously lacking self control. He never intends more than a taste of his honey, but somehow devours his entire jar in a matter of minutes. It's okay Mr. Pooh, you are just a model of normal human behavior. We all must be taught to restrain ourselves from licking our sticky fingers and begging for more.  “If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it” ( Proverbs 25:16 ).  My five year-old illustrated this verse into reality the other morning. He requested two slices of toast with honey. After letting him slather on his own honey for slice number one, I warned him to "go easy" on the second slice. A few bites in and he suddenly halted his feast. "You need to finish eating so we can get ready to go," I encouraged. But I was quietly informed that there was too much honey on his bread and it was making him feel sick. We seem t

Reciprocality

When you really love someone, real love , you hurt at their hurts, you take care of what they need caring, and you love what they love. We reciprocate our emotions when we love. God carries our burdens and feels our pain, and sheds our tears, so we do so for one another, even if we can never fully reciprocate the kind of love He is capable of holding for each one of His children. In the last three years, we've brought home three different babies. Three years ago, God brought home many of His babies, but one in particular was my best friend. Kyra is home, and I rejoice with her, but I miss her. I want to care for Kyra's family still waiting to go home one day. I want to be there and carry the burdens of her parents, her sisters, her husband, and her daughters. I hurt with them. I laugh with them. I cry with them. This is all possible because of a reciprocal love we share for a single individual. Three years ago Kyra held little Levi, no, she snuggled little Levi with his cord

Mom exercises

As we approach the six week b-day for Mr. Luca this week, which is the "return to work as usual" for mama, I'm thankful that the rest of my boys have a simple week. Since Silas isn't going to county-kindergarten, we have a delayed start date. Thus, I have a couple more weeks to enjoy the simplicity of summer. I haven't exercised this 'ole bod in probably nine months, so the thought of adding that into the schedule this week seems strange. Then again, maybe I am just measuring myself in the wrong era. I really believe I was suppose to enter the world in some other time period... the things we've invented to make life simpler, actually add things to our packed plate. Instead of getting my biceps from churning butter, I just hold two crying kids at the supermarket simultaneously. Instead of balancing a bucket of water back and forth to the well, I just run back and forth taking out the fancy diaper trash bags from three kids yet-to-be potty trained. Instead o