Greener Grass

The word "covet" is one of those "churchy" words that you rarely use outside of Biblical understanding; however, here's how Mirriam Webster defines covet:

:  to wish for earnestly <covet an award>
:  to desire (what belongs to another) inordinately or culpably
Coveting comes quite naturally as one sees in young children. They are usually only fighting over a toy when the other finds it interesting. It's not until someone else has something we can see that we want it. Without the visual reminder, we rarely struggle because the comparison is nonexistent. 
Likewise, I find myself strangely envious of very pregnant women these days. One would assume I'd feel somewhat lucky that I eluded the difficult third trimester. No swollen limbs; no uncomfortable sleep; no aching, stretching, or excessive weight gain. But I really would take all of that in stride and joy if I could trade the difficulties of the past few months. Then it hits me- other people are probably looking at my sweet Silas, or my little Levi completely jealous that God has blessed me with these precious lives I get to call my own children. It's easy to view what we lack. It's rather rare to focus on what we've been spared because we can't comprehend the millions of hardships we will never encounter. Thanks be to God!

Even though Levi didn't follow my ideal birth plan, I surprisingly would love to have more children. We have no clue what this looks like, of course, and I haven't even brought my second child through my front door yet, but for some strange reason (even with unclear odds that we'd repeat this scenario), I still find myself desirous of more babies. Maybe because I lost one and have fought so hard for the other, but I just think it's an absolute miracle to watch children grow. Like this little man growing up every day before my eyes-

Real men always choose pink. :)

Beyond blessed that we have so many loving friends to come play when mommy and daddy need to be with Levi

No matter how busy they are, our friends change their plans to love our Silas. Thank you!

We've had news that could be seen as negative, but I'm choosing to see how green our grass is and look at it from a different perspective (it doesn't always come naturally, but I must choose this route with much conviction). 

  • Levi may try ROOM AIR later this week.... will keep you posted!
  • Levi has had more movement in his weak arm!
  • I went dairy-free for a month, and they still have 25 days worth of milk for my man, so I get to take a break and enjoy my cheesy, buttery, milk delights again!
  • Levi weighed in last night at 7 pounds 7 ounces!
  • Levi is showing some "normal" behavior when given "tastings" of milk (interest, mouth movement, etc.).
  • We had a great visit with Levi last night and this morning!
  • The OT said that Levi's tastings are not progressing enough, and she believes he wouldn't be able to handle a "swallow study." Without a miracle or LOTS of time (months worth of therapy), she thinks it would be too traumatic to try to give him a bottle because his swallowing is so delayed. Once we check off other things, we may be looking at some type of permanent feeding tube coming home. Praying for that miracle though!
  • Still waiting to hear about muscular disorder blood results.... Hope to hear later today...
  • The doctor still wants to do a "sleep study" to check and see what's happening with Levi's neurological senses, which means he'll have to get off caffeine to see if he has finally developed his natural ability to breathe on his own. 
  • Still waiting to hear from the hand surgeon's analysis too.
  • We still have NO clue when Levi will come home; peace as we wait on God's perfect timing and not worry about what we will or will not deal with when that time comes. 
We are so blessed in so many ways. I hope you feel the same way today!  Thank you for loving us so well!
 ~Greener Buster