Competition or comparison
Many believe it, as I do, to mark a significant calendar point in history: Before Christ.
Some associate the abbreviation to mean Before Common Era, adding an E in order to escape any religious associations.
You may quickly think of Boston College or the Breakfast Club.
I now have my own favorite: Before Children.
Before Children, I used to be the world's fastest eater. I'm not sure where I gathered this skill set, but I know that a meal didn't take me more than five minutes to consume. For some reason I did not pass along this Olympic medal speed to my eldest child. Like other three and four year-olds, Silas eats at snail speed. He also dresses, brushes his teeth and does a myriad of other common tasks painstakingly slow. Besides pulling out all our arm hair to get through these activities, we have found that a little friendly competition helps move him right along. Unfortunately, I think he has now associated "winning" and "speed" as the most important endeavor imaginable. Matthew and I are both fairly, (okay extremely) competitive, so we definitely passed the generational baton there.
Since getting Silas to hurry along and "beat Levi" at putting on pajamas and buckling his seatbelt seemed harmless and effective, I began using my parental powers for something I said I would never do BC-- comparing my children to one another.
Silas has recently decided to revert back (again) to being a baby. Instead of just Roman waking me up at night, Silas gets our of bed to wake me for reasons only God can understand. He's cried more in the last couple of weeks than my other two kids combined. Regardless of the fact that he's been a little sick again, he's always been my sweet dramatic child. However, his behavior has seems downright ridiculous compared to what his brother has to go through on a regular basis. (But there goes the dreadful sibling comparison that I swore I'd always evade.) In my frustration I have lashed out letting him feel the sting of having little Levi be much braver, stronger, and sane. As I stepped back and watched Silas deal with himself from afar, I painfully asked God to forgive my iniquities.
I heard all the verses that I had ignored.
"But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor." Galatians 6:4
"Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding." 2 Corinthians 10:12
"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3
How could I compare my two boys who are each made so uniquely with their own strengths and weaknesses. I distinctly remember being the "sensitive" and "fearful" child in my own family, but I also distinctly remember my parents never telling me that I wasn't strong like my big sister. They did their best to push us out of our own comfort zones, and not compare our zones.
Thank goodness my God and my children are willing to forgive me so quickly because I know I'll continue to make BC mistakes.
Fortunately, my big boys are now sharing a room, which has brought out a whole new strength in big brother Si. He's nothing short of a miracle for little Levi. The two teach each other so very much, and their differences help push the other on to bigger and better things. I pray Roman will be as close to them as they are to each other right now!
|Levi wants to do everything big brother does, which means great hand therapy!|
|And great feeding therapy!|
|And great "cheese" skills thanks to Silas!|
|Just a little something I tell myself on tired mornings.|
|I can't believe this nugget is already four months!|
|Thanks Dee Dee and T Pop for our new beds!|