None of us was built to be perfect, but I believe we all have aspects of our calling woven into our natural fabric. When we stop trying to be what we think we should or what we believe others think we should, and when we embrace our natural God-given gifts and let go of those areas we struggle to fulfill, joy envelopes within our current calling and state of being.
I may not be crafty, and I have tried and tried but failed and failed at sewing, but I do love to cook, organize, and write. Writing may not be in the tagline or job description for mothering, but God has given me an outlet to document a diary, so to speak, of the past and present for posterity purposes. One day in the future, I hope that my children will be able to read my words and see that their mother never had it all figured out; she was always learning and growing even if they thought (for a time) she had it all figured out.
If you think your talents and abilities are not utilized to their fullest in your current position, then ask God for outlets to strengthen and develop those gifts, and trust that He will give that to you because He is the one that gave you the gifts and talents to begin with. We do not choose our gifts; they are just that--gifts. For this reason, I believe we are most fulfilled when we utilize our talents for a greater kingdom- not our future retirement kingdom or our children's happiness kingdom, but a Heavenly Kingdom. When His "kingdom comes" through the gifts He has bestowed, it's truly like being part of a supernatural purpose. Even if its minuscule, and we don't always realize our impact, when we seek His will through our lives and choices, we begin to feel fulfillment in the most mundane faithfulness. There is no pressure to perform when you embrace your calling, but trust God to use it for His perfect purposes. I read a great quote from the book Missional Motherhood, "we can only help teach it, suggest it, exemplify it, and affirm it. Salvation belongs to the Lord" (Furman, Gloria). I certainly can't be perfect for others, let alone my own family. Thank goodness I was never expected or designed with that in mind.
Speaking of expectations: Levi is doing well! Although we are thrilled we haven't used his feeding tube in over a month, the nutritionist and GI doc basically track his weight gain and chart status (as we all know too well). Thus, instead of fireworks and excitement, we were told that we are simply "holding our own," which means we've gained just a little weight in the last six weeks. It isn't about whether or not we use his G-tube, or even what types of solids he can swallow now. The docs simply want to see him get much bigger and stronger much faster before we even speak of removing anything. Thank goodness I didn't really have any other expectations. Little Levi is still just under 20 pounds. We are hopeful that spring and summer will bring less illness and more weight gain! But we are excited about his progress and showering him with our own fireworks. The more he sees his big and little brother do, the more he is naturally driven to do himself. We are thankful for that natural competition. ;)
Here's a little yummy weight-gain for St. Patty's day- green pudding!
|Now I'm not too crafty, but I couldn't resist making these myself when I saw how much they would cost me at a home store. Happy Spring!|
|Warm weather means Ro Ro can't just wear pajamas all day. He looked so old our of fleece footies!|
|I really think he's my chunkiest baby yet! (He's already competing with big brothers.)|
|Levi trying to get those muscles bigger!|
|Don't give up big man!|
|If Levi can hold his own, mommy can hold two kids for our afternoon walk too!|