Want to die?

If I told you that I was jealous of my friend Kyra who died three months ago would you think I was depressed? If you don't know Jesus, you probably would. It's true. I'm jealous of her, sometimes more than others, but many times it feels like she received an invitation to the unbelievable feast, and I'm still slowly nibbling saltines. The party started, but I didn't get invited.
Don't misunderstand... I LOVE my life, but after Kyra died, I realized even more what the Bible means when it speaks of our "true home." Instead of wanting to do certain things "before I die," I will be ready and excited when God calls me to Heaven regardless of what I've accomplished. Not because I long to see Kyra, but because I long to see God.
While I think I'd miss my family and friends here, I know I won't miss them when I'm in heaven singing praises to my creator.  Loving this life more than Heaven just means we haven't quite grasped our purpose of becoming one with God. We certainly can't grasp the amazing bliss of Heaven, but I do understand that when I die, I won't have to grapple with my selfishness or pride, nor will I have to live in a world of ugly pain. For this reason, I try to live each day simply knowing these moments are breathlessly temporary. Whether you are in a blissful season or aching hardship, it's all temporary.

Paul's words express this notion so much better: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith" (Phil 1:21-25).

So while I am here, I can't help but be excited! The invitation will be here before we know it, so rejoice in each day that you get to love those around you.  Instead of focusing on our differences, we should focus on how similar we all are. After all, we are ALL made in the image of God. 

 It's been beautiful beyond words to see Levi smile more! What a gift!

Thank you for praying for him!

- Orthopeadic doc said his feet are looking great so we'll go back in a couple months to re-check and hopefully move to a sleeping only leg brace in 2016!
- Levi has been doing well with his banana milk too! Not his favorite thing to do, but his therapists are happy to see him tolerate drops!
- While we ended up not qualifying for an in-home nurse care (long story but crazy insurance stuff, so only had one a couple times in October), Levi will now be getting both speech (feeding right now) and physical therapy in our home every week!  
- Prayers that Levi can continue to strengthen all his muscles, especially that right side of his body so that he can hit some major milestones like sitting up without assistance, rolling, right hand grasp, eating, etc. 
- Levi got his first real cold, and so far he's handled it well! The fear with illness is that he will either choke on all the extra mucus, or his premature lungs will struggle and pneumonia will ensue. But God continues to show us how strong he's made our little Levi. Thank you for prayers! Tomorrow he'll get his second shot that only qualified kids get for RSV during cold and flu season. So thankful to live in a time that has so much assistance for little preemies!

We are blessed and so excited about celebrating the upcoming holidays with BOTH our boys! 

~Dying Buster