What motivates us to do good? Selfless acts have roots in all kinds of soils. Some is dense with hypocrisy, while others are weak with insecurity. Either way, when we are honest, we'll often times see the crumble of selfish motivation. We'll give and sacrifice for a time, and then begin to resent those who aren't giving back. When we serve with the expectation of being served in return, we are often bitter and empty.
I am rarely described as cynical, and I have witnessed many volunteers who see the truth that it is better to give/serve than receive. However, for some reason it tends to be easier to give of yourself in isolation to those you may never see again, and therefore expect nothing from, than to give to those closest to you who may remain in your presence most of your Earthly life. This selflessness tends to waver in it's motivation.
Why on Earth do people continue to give up their needs, wants, desires, "rights," dreams, for others when they never feel as though others are giving equally for them?
Honestly, I don't think people can be so selfishly sacrificial. I think it takes a supernatural love to die to yourself like that every day. If you know Jesus at all though, you see a life that exists purely for the sake of others. He has no ulterior motive except love. When your desire is to become more like him, He enables you to check your motivations daily and continue to fight against your own selfishness. Our pride tells us that we've done enough. It's our turn to have ______. We've served others so much that we "deserve" a break. Unfortunately, our society echoes this chant making a life lived like Christ that much more difficult. Perfect selflessness does not exist in this life, but that doesn't mean we should stop "taking up our cross daily." Instead, let's strive to be led by the spirit and give up our time, schedules, plans, lives in order to truly find joy in serving; only then does our walk look like joy rather than begrudging frustration or self righteous angst. If you've never met Jesus though, this feat is impossible, and you will only end up serving yourself and showing everyone around you how to do the same. Love requires sacrifice, but God's love requires the ultimate sacrifice, which gains life abundantly.

Little Levi and I got some great one-on-one time this weekend, while the big boys were visiting Matthew's mom for her birthday! We hated to miss, (and I miss them a lot), but we are thankful half the family could go celebrate with her.

 I think my big man was a bit tired upon his arrival.

But "Gibby's beach" was anticipated weeks before the trip. Can't wait to hug you tomorrow Silas! Please stop growing up so fast.
Levi has made teeny tiny strides in all areas of therapy, which would seem like nothing to those who aren't working with him on a regular basis, but to me, I beam with pride! His new g-tube seems to be good in place (for now), but he's still spitting up frequently; it will only be a real issue if he stops gaining weight. Once again, our constant motto seems to be: time will tell. The unknown isn't really scary anymore because I realize there's nothing that's ever really "known." We must continue to live moment by moment, and I am so very thankful for my moments this week!

~Motivated Buster