Monday, August 10, 2015

Indepedent island

If you know anything about love, you know that it is not a tangible thing, nor is it something you can fully explain. For that reason, love is something that requires a great deal of faith because there is no way to truly measure it or guarantee it's eternal existence. When you marry someone, you are taking a huge leap of faith. I am always bewildered when people say they don't believe in God, but they do think love is real. Aren't they the same thing? Regardless of your stance, I will stand by the fact that I believe one of The Enemy's greatest tactics is to divide and conquer marriages. Marriage is described in the Bible as a picture of Christ with His church. No not just a physical building where one goes to sing and clap on Sundays, but an actual embodiment of a loving body of people eager and willing to serve and die for one another in His perfect name of love. Thus, breaking apart that picture of loving unity, only furthers Satan's kingdom on Earth, not God's in Heaven.

There's not always a full-out melodrama for this disarrangement to occur. I noticed my own tendencies toward marital independence during my husband's week long work trip. As difficult as it was for both of us last week, I began to find my own stride as a temporary single mom. I had a tremendous amount of help from people for whom I am eternally grateful, but I also had a few nights and days alone with my little ones, which gave me a twinge of singular focus and singular pride. As I grew with God and grew as a mommy, I found it rather difficult to re-grow as a unit with my other half when he returned. I had things down to a perfected system, and he sort of disrupted that system with his desire to lend a hand. Imagine his audacity! Offering to help!? Why? I had the best and perfect way of conducting our household in a manner that was worthy of a gold medal, and I could prove my abilities all alone.

Whether it's self-preservation, personal egotism, or subconscious control issues, we all tend to think our way is the best way. When we recognize that Satan wants us to prefer living on an island, we then realize that it's a tactic and not a tendency. Matthew and I need each other to balance the other one out; otherwise we end up fully committed to ourselves instead of living to serve others. We miss out on the unbelievable gift that exists in humility and letting go of our independence. This picture also encourages us to depend fully on God to get us through each and every day, rather than trusting in chance (or worse, our flawed selves).

I am so very thankful for the gift of my husband, and I pray I let him (and God) know of my gratitude daily! God can certainly give us the strength to endure alone when we must, but it's never His intention that we remain an island for long.

Levi is doing great, especially with normal digestion. I full blow out caused an extremely necessary full bath!

Tummy time (or trying)

Way to make him feel better Silas.

Thanks to our NICU friend Anne- we had our first date in a long time. An afternoon movie is amazing! No one was there!

Getting fresh air after daddy came home was a must! We were searching for puddles to jump in after a storm. (literally not metaphorically!) ;)

Early morning physical therapy wore out both these kids. Holding hands to reassure each other they'll make it through.

Boo Boos are always more fun when you share them.
Levi doesn't have a boo boo, but he did get a new hand splint!
Levi continues to struggle swallowing, but we are encouraged day by day as he gets stronger in our home. We will hopefully get feet casts this week too. I think the past week was the first time in 6 months that we didn't feel like we were on a roller coaster ride. We just felt like a normal steady family enjoying each day together. Thank you Lord and thank each of you! I have been so remisce in my thank you note writing (which I have always loved doing) since Levi came home. Please forgive me, but please know that we are very thankful for everything!

~Island Buster

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