Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Embrace


There's a spot in the farthest corner of our backyard almost to the edge of the property line that Matthew and I have been told (by multiple neighbors) has really great soil. Apparently years and years ago someone had a luscious garden growing there. It's pretty hard to believe, if you saw our yard, that any potion of it would be considered "luscious," but we've yet to find the time to test this theory. I know that it will take some good hard work, and frankly we aren't really up to it these days.

I know that most people don't really want to do the really hard work it takes to deal with the hard issues in life. Many simply cover up, bury, ignore, or refuse to acknowledge those areas of our lives that we have scarred over time and time again. If we were to actually scrap even the surface of the difficult topics, we may never stop the bleeding (or so we fear).

In reality I am continuously realizing that the purest and deepest form of joy and peace comes from digging deep into those hard times and embracing them rather than shying away trying to skip over them. That corner of supposed rich Earth in our yard looks like nothing; it's covered with weeds on top of weeds. Yet I'm sure if we began digging, we'd find rich dark soil ready to be harvested. It would require getting pretty dirty though. Lots of sweat, maybe some blood, and definitely a tear or two is always shed when we dig in our heels and deal with the cards we've been dealt. I'm not saying that we should linger in those areas forever; if there's nothing you can do to change the outcome, then move to higher ground or a different spot of land, but don't just sweep the dirt into the weeds if you can grow something better.

I can promise you that there is more gratification in the midst of trials that are approached in genuine love and desire for growth than circumstances that remain surface level.

I've been utterly humbled by how God has provided for my every need these past five days that Matthew has been gone. As I have let go and embraced motherhood in it's entirety-- embraced a season of sleepless nights, embraced the patience needed to care for little ones, embraced personal agendas being wiped away with sticky messes--I've found so much more peace in the inconvenient disturbances. As I've embraced a new life with Levi's special needs and delicate care, I've been presented with unbelievable encouragement by people I've never met, to those I've known all my life. I really believe that I am the one who is blessed for getting to experience a trial because I get to see God's hands and feet working through a myriad of people. It's beautiful soil that I hope someone will harvest in the near future.

Thank you T-pop for putting some fresh dirt in our yard! We are grateful for you!
Little man did great at his feeding therapy yesterday. We were encouraged by his ability to take the pacifier and his eagerness to learn to swallow. I think he just loved the therapist's blue hair. :) A side note: I've learned the medical condition he possesses is Dysphagia: difficulty swallowing. This could still be for several different reasons that all make sense, but we hope and pray he'll get that G-tube closed up one day in the near future.
Levi has lost a lot of his hair- another normalcy I can now appreciate.
Not sure Silas understood "make a funny face"
~Digging Buster

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