Please help me NOT to look like the rest of the world, but to view the world as you do.
Please help me never to be comfortable in this life.
Please help me not to get sucked into the "stuff" of the world, but to be changed from the inside out so that I may not be seen as a hypocritical Christian.
Please help me to praise you when times are good and when times are bad.
Please help me to die to myself and become more like Christ.
I can see now that God is answering all of those prayers exactly. Although we don't always choose the method of response, I trust that His ways are perfect, and I'm constantly at peace when I feel God speaking to me directly. If you've never been specifically direct with God, or if you happen to be reading this little blog for an update on a sweet preemie boy, but you don't actually believe in God, or you just don't care to think about whether there is a God or not. I would suggest you try praying to Him and asking Him something very specific. I truly believe if you are sincere in your quest and completely open to a response, God will speak to you. There's no doubt about it; there's nothing to lose except possibly an unbelievable relationship with your Creator and a lot of purpose in pain if you don't at least try. There's joy in the midst of heartache. For example, here are some things that have made me smile this week.
1. Silas walking by Levi's future room and saying, "Night, night, Levi." and kissing the air as he passes.
2. The nurses giving me some of Levi's preemie clothes because he's too big for them now!
3. Doing multiple loads of laundry a week for a son who doesn't even live under my roof yet.
4. Letting myself have coffee every day instead of every other day... just because.
5. Eating chocolate chip banana pancakes at 11:00 at night with my best friend who happens to be my husband too (before the no dairy rule began of course) just to have a little spontaneity in our lives.
|Who wouldn't be excited about dairy-free chocolate cake!?|
|When I left the boys to go to the hospital, this is what went down at the Smith house.|
|Well, I actually told Matthew that I got some washable paint that they could use in the bathtub. He asked if he should bring paper in the tub, and I assured him that that would defeat the purpose of going in the tub. :)|
I have so much to smile about, but there are still things we are sitting and waiting on God to reveal. Thank you so much for your continued prayers as we walk through this lap of the marathon.
~Levi is off the Bubble Cpap and on the high flow!
~Levi is almost 6 pounds!
~Levi did well with the MRI and doesn't have any initial red flags!
~Levi is more alert and responsive lately!
~Levi passed another eye exam tonight!
~The neurologist wants us to call him at his office tomorrow to discuss the MRI results completely.
~Levi had several good days followed by today where he started having episodes of apnea again, which seemed to be due to excessive secretions getting stuck in his throat and stuck on his feeding tube. So his lungs are strong, but we are still struggling with his airway.
~Levi's vocal cords to recover before the next ENT visit.
~The doctor mentioned Levi possibly going home one day on a feeding tube (it's also possible for babies to go home on oxygen- a double dose of nursing school which scares me!).
~Our ability to continue to trust one day at a time.
We praise God for each of you!