Scare Tactics

Scare tactic :"a strategy intended to manipulate public opinion about a particular issue by arousing fear or alarm"I'm ashamed to say that when pushed to desperate levels I resort to such strategies that I myself abhor. Desperate times should never push us to desperate levels, but they often do. Some of the things we claim are "desperate" times are really just personal desires rather than dire straights.  If you've ever seen the great boxing drama, Cinderella Man, recall the scene when the eldest son resorts to stealing food during the Great Depression in order to avoid his fear of being sent away from parents who might not otherwise be able to provide.  After his father made him humbly return the meat, he precedes to remind him that no matter what, "they never ever steal." Even in this family's destitute position, the calm dad never scares his son into obedience. I can't say that I'm always as calm as I hope...As Levi approaches his 4th birthday this week, there are many milestones that he should have already hit. Instead, he is mixing and mingling them into a new concoction that can be hard for his little body to absorb and hard for his tired mama to calmly guide. Levi's hypotonia (low muscle tone) creates a different type of tantrum. Most kids his age want to stop napping, but they are too tired to make it to bedtime. So the tears and tantrums ensue. I'm certain he's not the only child to have meltdowns to a galactic capacity, but when exhaustion sets into the picture, I can't help but feel the old pangs of fear for his potential setbacks. As Levi has stopped drinking his caloric milk this year, which is a great thing because he's eating more at the table, but he also becomes hungrier. With hunger and sleepiness, Levi can't recall the words to express his feelings easily. That would require multiple types of motor planning and muscle memory. He then resorts to throwing his tired body on the floor as if he's lost all control of his limbs. In his lethargic state, he will injure himself, drool, gag, and the like. Despite seeming like a crazy kid, with closer speculation, one can easily see that he's exerting more efforts to thrash around like a fish out of water than to simply and slowly express himself verbally. There is a fine line between recognizing the exhaustion and assisting him too much. Levi is very bright, and he will use his disabilities to have others cater to his needs if he thinks he can fool them.  However, the "too tired to eat/ too hungry to sleep" cycle can be a bit much for anyone.I confess on a particularly hard day I threatened my poor little man with my own fears, blurting out fallacy as my own scare tactic: "If you don't eat and sleep more you are going to end up getting that feeding tube put back into your belly! Is that what you want!?!" It's not a proud moment for me, but it served to humble my heart in requesting forgiveness. It also reminded me that scare tactics never adequately resolve underlying issues. Instead, I began to remind little Levi that he wasn't little, and he still needed to use his words, no matter how tired he felt. Having a baby brother has possibly made me more tired, but it has also served to show Levi who he does not want to emulate. Threatening the pack and play, as well as offering potential "feeling phrases" seem to be the trick to getting him back on track. We all have our daily battles, but adding fear in the mix shouldn't be one of them. I have to breathe deeply and recall my own exhaustion makes me act like a child, just as Levi's reverts him back to his barely thriving infancy, which he was just four short years ago. I can joyfully announce so many milestones that were achieved without my pushing, panic or ploy. Levi hasn't eaten from a tube in two years!Levi hasn't had a g-Tube for one year!Levi has stopped his round-the-clock Pediasure since the start of the year!Levi has been riding a balance bike for the past month!Levi has worn big boy underwear for 5 days!Levi said "I Love You" without being prompted for the first time in his life!He has expressed more emotion, thoughts, and opinions in multiple word sentences (when he has had enough food and sleep that is). Levi continues to dictate his own timeline for milestones, and I am utterly grateful for his patience in the process! We have had a lot of milestones here this week...

Levi knew that he needed to try underwear without pants. "Feel better," he said explaining that the pants hindered his potty progress. 

Thank goodness for a few warm days that coincided with this request!

Silas began a "sketch book" on his own request and spent hours drawing everything in and around our home. 

What a gift during a quiet nap day. 

Roman ventured "out" of his bed  for the first time, just enough to read to his animals that he placed on the border wall. 

Thankfully that is as far as he went!

Luca is very close to crawling! There's that familiar plank...

No rush boo!

We even went to dinner without Levi's pants and he never noticed!

We weren't sure about our first shoulder ride though.

One of the first times all three boys wanted to "dress like daddy" for church. Love my handsome men!

The world runs much better without fear and frenzy. 

~Scare Buster