Ask and Receive

As the saying goes: Ask and you shall receive. Although it's not a cliche saying, it's actually biblical. Whoever asks, it will be given; whoever seeks will find; whoever knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7). However, like much of the Bible, we've become accustomed to taking verses out of context and assuming we should be able distort truth without any due process. This childish mindset allows flawed man to a la carte our faith until much of the world chooses to ignore a relationship with God all together.

I digress... When I asked for difference and change recently, I (as per usual) neglected to recognize that change takes more forms than I realize. My true NICU baby who has never had a problem sleeping, never desired any form of comfort in his bed starting screaming violently, throwing himself on the floor, and causing himself such intense anxiety that he was making himself sick at bedtime. He only goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday for a few hours, so these unexpected and outrageous tantrums seemed like a farce. Then, I remembered that Silas had similar anxiety about sleep when he was Levi's age and started going to school regularly. I guess I should be thankful that Levi is experiencing some "normalcy" in his childhood?

It may or may not surprise some to know that I was a child riddled with fear and anxiety. I could barely function at the thought of second grade away from my mom. Thanks be to God, I have since recovered and actually welcome change. There is hope! When I give my boys opportunities to face their fears with care, compassion, and stern consistency, I know that they can rise above any anxiety that separation from security can create.

Silas cannot wait to go to school and socialize with his friends, and I know Levi needs the push away from big brother to really fly and speak for himself. Levi tells me that he doesn't play with anyone at school and stands by the fence on the playground, but I think his three hours of strict shyness have caused an amazing explosion of speaking in sentences when he gets home. Plus, his teacher said he used the potty two times already, which he doesn't care much about at home. I think he knows that it is meant to be a silent and private activity! Hallelujah!

It's hard to see our babies afraid, but I can speak from experience that they need to face some of their unmerited fears in order to grow. Parenting really is all about letting go, and I have to remind myself that that includes little Levi too.