Friday, February 5, 2016

Love Hurts


The loving Hallmark holiday is upon us, and I know that love is certainly one of my whole reasons for existence, but I also know that every single person, including myself, has been hurt by love more than once. Because love binds us on a deeper level, it hurts that much more when it feels like it's taken from us, whether momentarily, permanently, or just unexpectedly; hence, those persons who seem to withhold their love from so many due to feared potential consequences.
The love for a parent, a child, a spouse, a grandparent, a sibling, a friend- all can be equally as painful when extracted from our daily lives. Yet, can love really be taken? No. I do not believe so, and I think that's why it hurts so much. Just because the person separates, moves, stops speaking, stops showing up, gets Alzheimer's, changes lifestyles, shows agression, or dies, doesn't mean your love for that person stops. We may change our daily routine or our environment, but we can't truly turn off our natural desire to love those around us.
There hasn't been a single day since my best friend, Kyra, died that I don't achingly miss her. Why? Because I loved her deeply. I miss my grandmother more than I even realize, and she's still on this Earth, but she's just not herself anymore since Alzheimer's has moved into her life. I am saddened when think about the baby I never met because I loved it even without meeting it face to face.

I'm sure this seems like a mighty depressing discussion around what should be a truly happy holiday, but I actually think it's a gift to have loved so deeply. I don't think you can call yourself a human being if you are unable to love. Even if you try to fool yourself into thinking you don't love anyone or anything, it's not true. Moreover, I recently read something that helps explain my joy in the midst of sorrow.
A fellow-blogger spoke to the sadness of losing someone dear to her in this way, "When you observe suffering from the outside all you can see is the suffering. Despair can feel like the only option... on the inside, I want you to know that despair doesn't feel like an option. Peace is too real. Hope is too bright. God, the Ancient of Days, has drawn [too] close."

It's quite true. Any suffering that we've felt this year has simply allowed us to see love displayed and felt genuinely, tangible, and just beautifully. "We love because He first loved us" (1 john 4:19). So keep on sending those hearts and hugs and enjoy a holiday of love. The more we love, the more we see love live.

I have witnessed it with my own little man. He's definitely one of the most affection little boys I know...

  Don't be fooled though, about thirty seconds after these pictures were taken, Levi decided he was too exhausted to have a picnic. After having a little cold last week, he began spitting up again a lot, and not doing so well with all his therapy. But our PT reminded me this morning that none of us likes going to the gym or trying new foods when we are sick!
After visiting our hand specialist this week, we are encouraged that Levi will simply be given time to grow his tight joints and muscles through therapy. If in the distant future he still cannot close his hand though, there are future surgeries to help when he is older.
We will visit our GI doc on Monday for a weigh-in and discussion on any new instructions as we slug along this G-tube road.

Thank you for your continued prayers. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!

~Love Buster

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