Non-restless

Just before Levi was born, I had been co-leading a woman's Bible study about a Jennie Allen book called Restless. This was the first time I'd been asked to help lead anything with the exception of normal teacher-student responsibilities. While a little nervous, Jennie Allen's book increased my interest because I could relate to the content perfectly. Prior to Levi's dramatic entrance into the world, I felt very restless. I kept trying to increase any free time I had with important obligations even though I had pretty much filled my calendar to the point where I'd even plan "down time" in order to observe it. While I've always been someone who valued parenting, spontaneous adventures, and quiet hours, I also felt a restlessness with regard to how to fill my time. Once I felt like I figured out the "mom" thing, I was ready for the next challenge. It's beyond laughable to think that we ever have anything "figured out." In my own mind, God must have been preparing me for something bigger though. I wanted to utilize each of my moments in a way that maximized my time and my abilities. Little did I know what God had planned just around the corner, in a matter of months to be exact.

We were almost finished with the study the night my water started breaking ever so slowly. Ironically, as abruptly as my end to leading a Bible study, so was my restless emotion. Since having a new "normal," I have never before felt so steady. Instead of feeling as though I'm being prepared for something in the future, I feel as though I'm living it out day by day. I couldn't be more joy-filled with my roles and responsibilities. While I naturally have days that I'd like to end a bit quicker, I do not think there is any better use to my time than to care for all that I am caring for these days. Growing lives, learning to give care, letting go of selfish ambition, watching little ones change, making a home, seeing new waiting room faces, trusting in the unknown, all give me purpose and peace. Every day brings unexpected adventures. While some are more tiresome than others, they all provide a platform for living in the here and now. I cannot imagine living any other life, and if I'm ever weary, at least it's from being purposeful and not restless. Plus, when I look at all my little Levi is doing, I am encouraged to do more.

He's been a rock star these past few days...

We are so thankful our Gibby was here to help these past few days, and Levi loves his new "gym." Thanks Gibby!

The terminator here wanted to capture this moment for when his big bro tries to pick on him in the future.

Levi got his heart checked before surgery, and that tiny hole closed up on it's own! Yay! One less doctor to see!

Big man didn't really have to wear the hairnet, but I couldn't resist the photo op. He had his achilles heels clipped and did marvelous in surgery! Three more weeks and we get those stinky casts off!