We all think a bit too highly of ourselves in my opinion. I'm realizing more and more that pride and unmet expectations create the most unrest in our lives. Without recognizing their presence, however, they continue to destroy days, months, seasons, and even relationships. Kyra and I had some similarities in our parenting styles and our non-mainstream ideals. With her passing, I wonder and watch how her girls are coping with the small changes and with the grand ones. I find myself clenching at the idea that my own children could be raised without me. But they NEED me! Don't they?
No.... not really.
This doesn't mean that I should keep on the bathrobe, throw some goldfish on the floor and watch movies all day. Of course God has granted me the honor of helping guide and foster my children, but in reality, it's a gift and a privilege to help grow them into adults if I'm given such a grandeur of time. When others come to love, care, and teach my children, I don't need to stress and worry about the temporal changes to their environment. When hardships hit them, I don't need to wrap them in sheep's wool. While it's important to monitor the influences that engage my boy's lives, God does not need me to bring them to Heaven. He can just as easily mold them into Godly men without my help at all. Again, that does not mean I don't seek Biblical and teachable moments or neglect my maternal responsibility, but it does mean that I have to stop thinking so highly and mightily of my motherly instincts. No matter how well or how poorly I live in this world, God can still use everything for His ultimate purpose and glory. That kind of power and love only fuels me to live closer to Him. I'm in awe of how well God loves me despite my own pride. We must remember that no matter how life changing an event may seem, it does not compare to the moment that a person softens to the whispering of God's voice. Once we respond to it, nothing in our past, present, or future matters. It's is finished and decided, and that will change everything.
As we live this quiet season at home, I am choosing to look for the good in every moment I'm given. Who knows how many more I'll get....
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| The bean counter... An amazing rainy day activity. He could pour them all day long. |
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| He keeps asking when we can do "shaving cream activity" again. |
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| I remember doing this in elementary school on the last day, and it was by far the best day of the year! |
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| While I was focused on Levi's physical therapy last week, Silas called everyone's attention to what he did.... that's my organized child for sure! |
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| This is Levi's staple sleep position. Tummy time with strong arm down, and weak arm up. |
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| I heard some giggles after I came back from putting Levi down to nap. Then saw this little man pretending to be his brother. Who could resist that face? Good thing I told him babies can't have cookies or else he'd never want to grow up. |
~Mighty Buster
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