Matt B. Moved to Cali

My one and only little bro moved to San Francisco for at least 7 months on a work-related assignment this past week. We had a going away dinner for him, and I had to hold back tears when my non-emotional mother began crying at our good-byes. What is it about mother's crying that gets me going? I know it's just a short time, but I still think of Matt as my baby brother. He's all grown up and he's out exploring the world! I can't wait to hear all the stories he comes home with..... in the mean time, I plan to watch reruns of The O.C. just to feel close to him. Love you bro!!!

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Hard waves

Heartache and hard times seem to come like heat: in waves. Right now, I feel I have escaped the wave. I feel a sense of respite and relief. My world doesn't seem to be hanging in the balance of the next uncertainty. However, I feel the wave around me in the lives of others. It feels as if I'm sitting in the middle of my sweet autumn breeze while I'm hearing story after story of diagnosis, loss, and turmoil. Once upon a time, I would anxiously pray and wonder when my time of turmoil would next hit, but I've had my share of storms since then. Now I can praise God in good times, knowing the hard will come again. Instead of living in fear, I feel assurance that I will again experience respite and joy, and one day all my sorrows will cease when I leave this body. There's no sense in trying to avoid waves; if you have someone bigger, who created the oceans, then you can live at a level of ease no matter your circumstances. When I hear of these hurts, my heart hurts too, b...

Confessions

I have had so many people thank me for my honesty on this blog lately. I haven't really thought about my level of truthfulness until those remarks of gratitude were given. I think I naturally wear my heart on my sleeve, and thanks to my upbringing, I often hear the term TMI, which just means I'm obviously not scared to express myself. However, I also believe that when you are going through something difficult, it's much easier to be raw and real in front of others, even complete strangers. Often times, it is these "real" moments that bridge the gap between hearts and allow us to live truth. I must confess, this marathon is really all over the place. It's like I hit mile 7, and I can't believe I'm only at mile 7! This past weekend, I felt covered in prayer, peace, and love. Matthew and I enjoyed a much needed date night, our little Levi enjoyed a quiet and restful weekend, and our big boy had a blast at our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. I really ju...

Influenced

influence....... influenced. The latter word signifies a condition where someone else has an effect on your life. Taking off one little letter seems to insight a condition where you are the one acting upon the lives of others. I wish I could claim that I am rarely influenced by the opinions of others, but sadly that is not the case. If it does not go against my beliefs, principles, or well-being, I am one of those people that can easily jump on a bandwagon if presented with the material in an intelligent and legitimate manner. For that reason, I stay away from most things that can have a potential momentary or negative influence on my life. Unfortunately when it comes to little Levi, there are many different people taking care of him, and there are many different opinions regarding his current and future condition. For some reason, since the day Levi was born though, I have not searched the internet for a single thing regarding his care or condition. I believe God has protected me fro...

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