A subconscious musing...
I must work hard to provide for my kids.
I need to focus on my kids so that they will become moral, upstanding citizens one day.
I should be increasing my paycheck as our family is growing.
I need to put in more hours at the office to prove my worth at work because I have a family that needs a paycheck.
I want my children to know they are loved, so I need to prioritize their needs while they are young.
I need to help shape my kids now so they won't have too many issues later.
I have to work for my kids.
I have to help my kids.
These well-intentioned musings end up having the reverse effect on the family unit. Just as no one enters into marriage hoping it fails, neither do people realize their love for their kids can effectively harm their marriage.
I'll be first to agree that every child needs to feel loved by both parents, but too often parents forget how to love one another when their pursuits take them apart. Of course a baby's adorable presence will sidetrack a conversation, and a toddler's new words strike awe in new parents, but not focusing on your spouse ultimately hurts your child's future far greater than any momentary neglect.
I'm not suggesting neglecting your child's physical needs, but I believe parents can easily twist the definition of need with that of "like." Your child may like lots of attention, but they do not need it. Your child may not like your date night or private time, but they really need you to show them how to focus on your spouse first. Add this dilemma with the need to constantly post, update, pin, or tweet and a couple can sit next to one another without ever feeling they have spent time together.
If we forget how to love our spouse before our kids, then trust me, the marriage will slip away and the kids will suffer the greatest harm. Moreover, when we show our sons and daughters that our marriage matters more than work, school, or play to the point where we are willing to give up any of those things for our spouse, then they will hopefully have the same respect for their marriage one day.
We cannot expect another person to satisfy all our needs, but we can show the world what it looks like to give up our own needs for the most important earthly relationship in existence. Just read Ephesians 5 for a detailed reference guide.
It's easy to lose ourselves in the work we do every day, whether that's at home or away, but
"whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for me will find it" (Matthew 16:25).
So if you're going to lose your life over something, make it something eternal. Then hopefully your children will thank you for showing them they weren't the priority after all.
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| So thankful for this priority! |
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| Since camping was out this year, an overnight trip to Helen was next on the list. Boys loved Betty's and especially her old fashion sugar sticks! |
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| Trying to capture the cuteness of this season! |
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| Not too bad for four under five! |
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| Anna Ruby Falls was beautiful! Just what the doctor ordered! |
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| Putt putt and ice-cream is always a great way to show my hubby some love. |
As I turn my thoughts back to my kiddos, I am grateful for how my hubby works. His steadfastness keeps us all looking up and remembering who ultimately provides for us. God gives and He can take away at any moment, so we choose to trust and cherish the moment we are living.
Luca and Levi had good appointments this week. Levi's ears are filling up with fluid again, which means we are now scheduled for T-tubes (ear tubes that last 3-5 years instead of one) at the end of the month. I am actually grateful for the discovery early before both ears failed the hearing test. Luca's vascular abnormality appointment was a little bit of a waste as they couldn't get an accurate blood pressure, but hopefully we can get it from our pediatrician next week when he gets his "well" shots with big brother Roman (who turns 2 on Sunday!). I also discovered that Luca doesn't need another bronchoscopy for six months to check the shrinkage of his blood clot! Yay! But he has to have an MRI of his head and neck, which is currently scheduled for January, which is just precautionary measures.
All in all, it was a successful doc week, and hopefully all will check out next week at our Ped appointment. Thank you for prayers and encouragement!
Loving you from afar...
~Coffee CubBuster
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