Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Not my own

I've mentioned many times what a blessing it's been to experience those things I once feared because then they no longer instill fear. I have also stated multiple times what a blessing it's been to grow in faith through various trials we've experienced the past few years. However, just when you think you have conquered one mountain, there's always a new one around the corner. It's one thing to boast in Christ, but another to take that strength and believe it's all your own. I'm seeing the difficulty in relishing in the Spirit's strength when there are decisions to be made that affect another person.
When it comes to the unknown and things are typically out of our hands, it almost becomes easier to embrace faith and trust when there's nothing you can do. When Paul was given a "thorn" in his flesh, he had to succumb to Christ's strength during his own weakness. Paul had to embrace the fact that grace was sufficient.
I'm currently struggling with a thorn that hasn't just been in my own flesh for the last year, but in my flesh and blood, Levi. Instead of just trusting that Levi will stop throwing up every time he eats, I actually have to make decisions that affect that outcome. I have responsibilities and insights questioned by doctors to get him to a better eating scenario sooner, rather than later. While faith and trust play a big part of everything we do, it still pains me to see my son constantly vomit multiple times a day. Forget about the logistical, practicality of daily regurgitation, it also just becomes frustratingly exhausting. We've tried so many different things, but it doesn't feel like we are any closer to helping him keep down all his food.
Not only is Levi very volume sensitive, but he still has issues with excess mucus production (sorry if you're snacking right now). While removing his adenoids has come up in different conversations, we don't know if this would solve the problem, nor is our ENT comfortable performing that operation on such a tiny little guy. So we wait (while continuing to try little things that I confess I doubt will change things).... and that's when faith and trust come into play again. If I'm going to boast in Christ that I've learned to have faith, I must remember all He's done for me. When Levi was born, we didn't know whether he would live or die, whether he'd have brain damage, or multiple disabilities, and we had daily decisions to make. In the same way that God saw us through that time, I know he'll see us through this season.
Psalm 105:5 says, "Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles..." when we forget the miracles He's performed time and again, our thorn seems to grow in size, but when we focus on God's strength instead of our own, that thorn ceases to exist in our minds.

Thank you for continuing to pray for our little Levi, and for our continued faith and trust in his strength and growth!
He passed his hearing test on Tuesday! What a blessing that we must not take for granted!
When he's not about to throw up, throwing up, or covered in throw up, he's the sweetest and happiest little boy! For that, I will always give thanks!


Check out those teeth!

He loves the swing we put on the new playground!

He can even finish eating while swinging. Can't do that at the park!

Our cilantro is out of control. Not sure what to do with it all.
I was worried how Silas would do finally back at Sunday school now that cold and flu season is over. We picked him up with a sticker that said "I shared today," I couldn't have been more proud!
Love watching these boys grow together.

Thank you for loving us!

~Coffee CubBuster

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