Joy in Pain

There is pain in this world. It comes in different forms. Physical pain, emotional pain, frustrating pain, confused pain, displaced pain, short-lived pain, numbing pain, excruciating pain, sincere pain, unexpected pain.

Yet, through it all, there is joy.

How? Where? Why is there joy in a world filled with such pain? Is is true joy? Is it fabricated or medicated joy? Is it temporary joy or will it fade with the next whisper of pain?

No. I have felt a joy that far outweighs my pain. It's a joy that doesn't make sense mixing with a pain that culminates in reality. It's a joy that couldn't be concocted by even the most elaborate of artists. As I've experienced some of the most intense physical pain during some of the most intense emotional pain, I have noticed and experienced some of the purest forms of joy and peace that cannot be watered down by logic.

We lost our second child this week. At just seven weeks old, our precious baby gets to escape a world of pain and know nothing but Heavenly joy. I would welcome taking all that pain these past few weeks away from our baby, as a mother's heart never wants her children to hurt. While the deepest pain exists in not getting to know such a precious life, I find excitement in knowing it will be Christmas morning to meet that life when I too am called home.
While my heart hurts, and I had to endure debilitating physical pain that doctor's couldn't diagnose simultaneously, I truly caught moments of joy I would have otherwise overlooked.

The joy of unexpected deep belly laughter; the joy of 16 month-old open-mouth kisses; the joy of losing a child in God's house while feeling the prayers of others overflowing; the joy of helping hands relieving daily burdens; the joy of life looking suddenly colorful; the joy of hand-holding without any words; the joy of coincidences that are anything but coincidence; the joy of feeling God's arms and eternal embrace.

Joy is everywhere. And no one can explain it away. I will rest in the joy of love because love is all around me. Thank you Jesus!

John 16:20



  1. Silas certainly is the best big brother. I have tears in my eyes as I think on all you are going through. Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom. I pray that you continue to be filled will all joy from Him. Love you!

  2. Great post. Beings tears to my eyes...sad and joyful ones :)


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