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Darkest Day

I recently experienced NBC comedy, Parks and Rec, for the first time. Actor Rob Lowe's played, Chris Traeger, an overtly optimistic person who spins everything to an upbeat positive note, to an annoying fabricated level. Through him I saw the caricatures drawn for Christians who always want to see the sunny side of life. I'm sure I've been viewed through such a lens by my own family from time to time because I see that same zeal in my eldest child. I think optimism and positivity go a long way to change outcomes, attitudes, and even cultures for the better, but I think it's critical we don't gloss over our dark days. Often when people only see someone as carefree, they begin to hide their own turmoil because they feel isolated in their despair. Having someone you can honestly ask for prayer for you darkest moments is essential to moving from dark to light.
Jesus had multiple friends sit with him during his darkest hours in the Garden of Gethsemane the day before his crucifixion, and He asked them to pray. God didn't want His beloved son to feel alone in the world (as He desires for us), so when the disciples physical exhaustion caused their eyes to sink from prayers to dreams (as many of us have experienced), God "sent an angel to strengthen Jesus" (Luke 22:43).  Just before sweating those grave drops of blood, God answered his prayer through the encouragement and strength of one of His angels. Even when we feel abandoned or alone in this world, God's promise to never leave or forsake us is an oath we can trust. Often times we must get to a place of whole-hearted crying to God, not just the half-sleeping supplications of his disciples, before we feel His strength and relief.
I found myself in a similar place this week. Through tears of exhaustion that gave way to explosions of unprecedented anger, I sought the prayers of two righteous woman on two different continents in two different seasons of life. Sometimes we just want to feel heard or understood, and God understands this, so He will send angels to comfort and strengthen us. As one of the women said, it's strange how we can be in a place one week and feel utterly blessed by it, and then see that same place as a burden the following week. When our hearts and eyes begin to fail, we need to step away to clear the fog. Through much encouragement, I got my baby to bed and spent the night away in a hotel. While the notion of this felt strange and even wrong at first, I was affirmed when my international friend left me a message praying that it would be possible for me to take a little spiritual retreat away. When God's love delivers you, and He meets you right where you are struggling in your own garden of Gethsemane, the joy of your salvation increases double-fold. This very Good Friday, I pray as I can only imagine Jesus Christ praying, Psalm 51:12, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."

Despite my dark attitude this week, there were still sweet moments that could only have been orchestrated by a great Father who can bring up my children in light despite of darkness.









 -Darkest Buster

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