"Mommy, watch this!" "Mommy, mommy, see." "Mommy, watch what I can do!" "Mommy, dis!"
Like most young children, my boys are constantly seeking affirmation, approval, and acknowledgement. I can't even compliment or encourage one child without the other desiring to show me they can do the exact same thing or something better in their eyes. There's a natural (and probably a partial parent-influenced) competition that exists between my boys despite their varying abilities. While I think some sibling rivalry is inevitable, I have to watch and encourage their individuality and remind (my eldest) that not everything is in fact a competition. More importantly in a day where every child seems to get a trophy and many parents fear low self-esteem or self-consciousness in their kids, I think it's important to teach children HOW TO LOSE.
Learning to celebrate others' victories even when it highlights our loss builds a character that many young people have never seen. It's one thing for a child to be self-aware and another to be self-conscious. If my children learn to seek God's approval, then I believe they'll avoid self-consciousness all together. Low self-esteem is not a product of losing or not getting a trophy at the age of seven. It is a result of a world searching for meaning from things that can't fulfill our desire to be affirmed and deeply loved. Once we know how loved we are, then we can learn that we are all given specific and different gifts to sharpen and utilize for a greater purpose. There's no trophy that compares with that.
If we believe God gives us the right victories in the right time, then even our losses have great significance; then, we can joyfully and humbly take the spotlight off of ourselves.
While I'll always be an autumn girl, having boys is really making me love summer more and more. Despite the bug bites and humidity, there's something sweet this summer about just doing summer stuff. Popcicles, fireflies, pools, and freedom to run and roam has been a blast. We are really getting into the games this summer too (well, I should say Silas is finally able to add to his competitive-drive). Four-square, Connect Four, Don't Break the Ice, we are doing it all! Even Levi learned the word "game" this summer, and Roman is begging to open the highly stuffed "board game" cabinet. Here's to many more game nights to come! Happy Summer...
~Losing Buster
Like most young children, my boys are constantly seeking affirmation, approval, and acknowledgement. I can't even compliment or encourage one child without the other desiring to show me they can do the exact same thing or something better in their eyes. There's a natural (and probably a partial parent-influenced) competition that exists between my boys despite their varying abilities. While I think some sibling rivalry is inevitable, I have to watch and encourage their individuality and remind (my eldest) that not everything is in fact a competition. More importantly in a day where every child seems to get a trophy and many parents fear low self-esteem or self-consciousness in their kids, I think it's important to teach children HOW TO LOSE.
Learning to celebrate others' victories even when it highlights our loss builds a character that many young people have never seen. It's one thing for a child to be self-aware and another to be self-conscious. If my children learn to seek God's approval, then I believe they'll avoid self-consciousness all together. Low self-esteem is not a product of losing or not getting a trophy at the age of seven. It is a result of a world searching for meaning from things that can't fulfill our desire to be affirmed and deeply loved. Once we know how loved we are, then we can learn that we are all given specific and different gifts to sharpen and utilize for a greater purpose. There's no trophy that compares with that.
If we believe God gives us the right victories in the right time, then even our losses have great significance; then, we can joyfully and humbly take the spotlight off of ourselves.
While I'll always be an autumn girl, having boys is really making me love summer more and more. Despite the bug bites and humidity, there's something sweet this summer about just doing summer stuff. Popcicles, fireflies, pools, and freedom to run and roam has been a blast. We are really getting into the games this summer too (well, I should say Silas is finally able to add to his competitive-drive). Four-square, Connect Four, Don't Break the Ice, we are doing it all! Even Levi learned the word "game" this summer, and Roman is begging to open the highly stuffed "board game" cabinet. Here's to many more game nights to come! Happy Summer...
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| Who needs to go gold-mining when we can scrub rocks at home!? |
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| Loved coming out to all my boys helping set the table for dinner! |
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| First "fruits" of our garden this year! I think I'd love to be a self-sustaining farm family, maybe minus all the intense work it would take to make cheese. |
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| Loving our ice cream nights! |
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| Catching lightening bugs is harder than it looks! |
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| But worth the late bed time. |
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| Just enjoying some final days with my three sons. |
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| So thankful they have each other! |
~Losing Buster
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