As I walk in these familiar, yet uniquely designed shoes of many women before me, I am struck by the difficulty of the Hallmark holiday. Some people ache to become pregnant mothers, while others ache to hear their mama's voice again. Your mom may be your ideal parent, or she may have been a huge disappointment, but someone helped keep you alive from infancy to adulthood, and that is whom you should thank this Sunday.
I'm reading a sweet little book called Mom Enough by some fellow sisters, and I greatly appreciate the idea that motherhood is not an extra hobby we take on because we are bored; nor is it an activity to enter so that we have some cute clothes to buy or cute pictures to post.
I walked with a fellow mommy last week, and we shared some of the "hard" of mothering. My friend recognized how few young moms want to admit the hard parts of parenting for fear of isolation or judgement, and how older moms seem to have parental amnesia from early years comparing their teenage and adult children's hardships therein minimizing a young mom's tiresome troubles. I hope that no matter what "hard" or "easy" phase of life you are in right now, you will be an encouraging ear to someone who feels like they are drowning. Leave self-righteousness at the doorstep and realize that we all face our own hard in our own way at our own time. Instead of comparing those hards, just listen and love. I love what one of the authors of Mom Enough says about the job description for moms:
Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don't like green beans. Laugh when a vomiting child thwarts your plans. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can't read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.
It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but to resent the demands of the children in your living room. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be a peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions without a heart for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive. (Rachel Jankovic)
To all moms (and dads for that matter) everywhere, especially those who have been moms without the biological attachment, thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for giving of yourself even if you never felt celebrated on "Mother's Day." There is one who sees all, and He celebrates His love for you every single day.
And a little about those who call me mommy:
I am thrilled to thank you all who read this little blog and pray. Little Levi can suck from a straw! THIS IS HUGE! While his stamina still needs to build, it's a big milestone for the little man. Levi did great after surgery, and he's still eating very well, but more like a 12-15 month old diet than a two year-old diet in addition to all his extra caloric Pediasure. We are just thrilled that he's motivated and continues to make improvements with self-feeding.
While I'd hoped his balance would improve after surgery, I've come to recognize that Levi is showing some signs of sensory processing disorder. Many NICU preemies struggle with sensory input, but thus far, we've been so thankful to hear from his therapists that Levi has NO issue with sensory input. However, he may have slightly the opposite issue. As we always thought it humorous to watch Levi stumble and laugh like a drunken sailor shaking his head and falling down, I believe (and this is not a clinical diagnosis, just talk with therapists and my own mommy intuition) Levi has excessive post rotary nystagmus. Before you go looking it up, let me explain. Basically Levi has a little vestibular dysfunction, meaning he is hyposensitive (not hyper) to movement. This means that Levi craves movement like a thrill seeker; his eyes don't catch up with his body when he gets dizzy, he loves increased sensory input like falling or banging himself. At this point, his OT says he should grow out of this, even though he'll probably always love the fastest rollercoasters and highest mountains, but for now, please pray for wisdom as we continue to watch the sweet boy grow and develop in his own perfect way.
Other milestones were hit by my baby Ro Ro too! I forgot how quickly babies change when they are on a normal developmental curve. Roman had his six month appointment today, and he's 16 pounds, which is just four pounds short of catching Levi. He got his first two teeth already, his first swing ride, his first Johnny jumper experience, and many first table foods. He's the sweetest little bug, and I love watching all three boys talk and play together.
Silas finished his first year of preschool, and continues to be the best big brother I've ever known. I'm nervously excited about our road trip to Texas tomorrow! It'll be a Mother's Day weekend I'm sure I'll always remember!
Some much needed shenanigans from our home to yours:
|A sweet Mother's Day musical. Can you spot my boy in the red shirt middle.|
|He sang with pure gusto!|
|Two days before they broke ground. This tough man showed no symptoms! I welcomed change.|
|Cool as a cucumber.|
|Oh so that's what the word "suck" means!|
|I could get into this!|
|This boy... oh my heart.|
|So far eating is at the top of his "likes" list.|
|Levi keeps wanting to show that he's bigger than Roman. :)|
|Ro Ro finally found his feet. Even when sleeping, they are still there buddy.|
|Best seat in the house.|
|Sweet boys watching Si man be silly.|
|Nothing better for boys than sand and trucks.|
|Except maybe puddles and jumping!|
|And mommy's phone.|
There's nothing quite like it--- Happy Mother's Day!