It is very true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. As I approach the one year "anniversary" of my best friend's death (and I use the term anniversary loosely because I don't think it's something to really celebrate), I cannot help but think deeply and fondly of Kyra. I cannot believe a year has already passed. That seems impossible. Yet, as time passes, people often forget about the negative things and focus all their memories on things they love. (Hence, woman having more than one child.)
Kyra's death seems a tad bit less surreal a year later, and more realistic. It makes more sense because she always belonged in Heaven, but that doesn't take away the aching I feel to hear her voice, see her face, or grasp her sweet, simple wisdom. Even though I believe she is living out what we all truly desire, unity with God, I selfishly want her to wait and experience that with me.
We were all designed to be relational. No matter your aversion to crowds, recluse-nature, or quiet demeanor, I believe every single human being was made to be in unified relationships. However, because of the first temptation, which broke our perfect unity with God back in Eden, the repercussions have extended to every relationship on Earth. The brokenness and hurt we feel in this world is a result of different beliefs, morals, goals, and priorities. It bothers us when others don't feel and act the way that we do, so we search for relationships that make us feel normal. This searching may be camouflaged in many ways, but it's universal. It is very rare when you find someone that simply "gets you." You don't have to explain your thoughts, rationalize your choices, or question their judgements. You simply align with one another on practically every level providing a unified comfort that is extremely rare. These relationships are typically defined by your best friend and/or spouse.
Kyra was one of those rare people in my life, and for that reason I miss her daily. If we are honest though, even the best of earthly relationships is not perfect. We are seeking people to provide us with our desired unity rather than our perfect Creator. I think we are all called to be unified, but it's a challenge only conquered with the God's help:
Christ said, "I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." - John 17:21
"until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ." - Ephesians 4:3
"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:3
Unfortunately there are tons of churches down the street from one another in America because of broken unity. Changes to doctrine, changes in opinions, and changes to beliefs begin to break down oneness of peace.
While this is obviously an imperfect world filled with imperfect people including Christian people, once we recognize that we all desire the same thing, we begin to find our perfect relationship with Christ because He is the only relationship in the world that will truly provide us with that perfect oneness we crave. Only then do we see more beauty in the cross and more hope in the lost.
It's sort of strange sometimes how Silas remembers Kyra so well. After finding a picture of her on my phone, he recently said, "Mommy, it is going to be so much fun when we go to heaven one day and see Kyra again." What a beautiful reminder that I will see my sweet friend again in the not-so-distant future. Thanks buddy.
Boys are doing well, and I'm so happy to say that after ten days of doubling up on G-tube formula shots, Levi gained some weight back at his GI appointment yesterday. He's back in the 17 pound arena. The nurse forgot to take off his cloth diaper on the scale- praise God for that little added weight! Hopefully he's headed in a positive direction!
They both seemed to have grown up a bit this week too. Levi's driving now with both hands at ten and two! And Silas got to take his trike for a spin on the "real road," meaning not the driveway. I think that boy is ready for his first Christmas bicycle!
~Unified Buster
Kyra's death seems a tad bit less surreal a year later, and more realistic. It makes more sense because she always belonged in Heaven, but that doesn't take away the aching I feel to hear her voice, see her face, or grasp her sweet, simple wisdom. Even though I believe she is living out what we all truly desire, unity with God, I selfishly want her to wait and experience that with me.
We were all designed to be relational. No matter your aversion to crowds, recluse-nature, or quiet demeanor, I believe every single human being was made to be in unified relationships. However, because of the first temptation, which broke our perfect unity with God back in Eden, the repercussions have extended to every relationship on Earth. The brokenness and hurt we feel in this world is a result of different beliefs, morals, goals, and priorities. It bothers us when others don't feel and act the way that we do, so we search for relationships that make us feel normal. This searching may be camouflaged in many ways, but it's universal. It is very rare when you find someone that simply "gets you." You don't have to explain your thoughts, rationalize your choices, or question their judgements. You simply align with one another on practically every level providing a unified comfort that is extremely rare. These relationships are typically defined by your best friend and/or spouse.
Kyra was one of those rare people in my life, and for that reason I miss her daily. If we are honest though, even the best of earthly relationships is not perfect. We are seeking people to provide us with our desired unity rather than our perfect Creator. I think we are all called to be unified, but it's a challenge only conquered with the God's help:
Christ said, "I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." - John 17:21
"until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ." - Ephesians 4:3
"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:3
Unfortunately there are tons of churches down the street from one another in America because of broken unity. Changes to doctrine, changes in opinions, and changes to beliefs begin to break down oneness of peace.
While this is obviously an imperfect world filled with imperfect people including Christian people, once we recognize that we all desire the same thing, we begin to find our perfect relationship with Christ because He is the only relationship in the world that will truly provide us with that perfect oneness we crave. Only then do we see more beauty in the cross and more hope in the lost.
It's sort of strange sometimes how Silas remembers Kyra so well. After finding a picture of her on my phone, he recently said, "Mommy, it is going to be so much fun when we go to heaven one day and see Kyra again." What a beautiful reminder that I will see my sweet friend again in the not-so-distant future. Thanks buddy.
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| A beautiful gift from Kyra's mom and reminder of her life. |
They both seemed to have grown up a bit this week too. Levi's driving now with both hands at ten and two! And Silas got to take his trike for a spin on the "real road," meaning not the driveway. I think that boy is ready for his first Christmas bicycle!
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