I've only had the kids at school for a week, but it feels like so much longer. Seriously, who decided on how we were going to keep track of time the way we do anyhow? I was talking to one of my co-workers, and we decided that summer never really happened. It was a dream, and then we woke up and school/work was still happening. It never ended. Time is an allusion. Instead of a week, I think the past seven days were more like a decade. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but my body is going through some kind of shock right now. I went from zero to 190 miles per hour. Okay, who am I kidding, I'm never at zero, but I was pretty close, and now I feel like I could fall asleep while I'm typing this post.... I may just have.... No amount of caffeine can help this kind of exhaustion, it's just the body adjusting to the new agenda. Kind of like when you've stayed away from the gym for winter and that first thaw of frost opens you up to physical exercise, and then your physically dead, drained, sore, sad for a week. That's kind of how it feels.... kind of. I'm more visual than auditory. This picture of a precious child falling asleep in the middle of playing kind of sums it up. It's not a comfortable position- check out those hands. But it's eyes closed! Perfection.
Heartache and hard times seem to come like heat: in waves. Right now, I feel I have escaped the wave. I feel a sense of respite and relief. My world doesn't seem to be hanging in the balance of the next uncertainty. However, I feel the wave around me in the lives of others. It feels as if I'm sitting in the middle of my sweet autumn breeze while I'm hearing story after story of diagnosis, loss, and turmoil. Once upon a time, I would anxiously pray and wonder when my time of turmoil would next hit, but I've had my share of storms since then. Now I can praise God in good times, knowing the hard will come again. Instead of living in fear, I feel assurance that I will again experience respite and joy, and one day all my sorrows will cease when I leave this body. There's no sense in trying to avoid waves; if you have someone bigger, who created the oceans, then you can live at a level of ease no matter your circumstances. When I hear of these hurts, my heart hurts too, b...
Girl yes. The Friday after we started school, I fell asleep at 9:30, slept for 11 hours, took a one-hour nap the next day, and then slept for another nine hours Saturday night.
ReplyDeleteI am right here with you.