Two kinds of patience

I'm not sure I grasp the point of pursuing transient social tech like Snapchat. If memories are worth erasing, why are we posting them at all? I have many moments worth erasing, don't get me wrong, but typically my blunders aren't worth remembering without retrospection. I need to ponder before I post, then I can aptly understand my misgivings. I completely appreciate humorous humility for the sake of authenticity, but I like transparency that lasts longer than a few seconds.
When my husband keenly and gently pointed out my lack of patience the other day,  I began to ponder this humbling notion. I searched this blog because I was certain my past medical traumas with Levi and current profession would argue for my increased patience over time. Instead of  finding justification though, I found amazing memories that served as friendly reminders, like the whistle of a tea kettle, prompting me to take the water away from the the heat. I completely forgot that Levi had so many unexplained medical problems during his stint in the hospital: NEC colitis, a UTI, low white blood cell count, etc. Every question was raised, to the point that I became certain all doctors are literally just "practicing medicine." They were guessing why he could not thrive; only God knew that one, and God brought me through those seasons of "longsuffering," which I have already forgotten. Thus, looking back on my moments of misery and uncertainty with Levi has encouraged me through the "guess work" I see doctors pondering over Roman's current issues. I was beginning to lose my patience with it all over again.
As it turns out, there are two kinds of patience (probably more), and I still trend towards lacking in both areas (as much as I'd like to pride myself otherwise...its all relative). The first type occurs through constancy-- like the constant dripping of a faucet, the constant repeating oneself, the constant holding your tongue, or the the presence of constant noise. The second occurs through endurance of the unknown--the problem that demands immediate attention but requires quiet waiting, the fever that takes time to break, yet that time table is unknown, the uncomfortable situation you know needs an adjustment, but you should really tarry before reacting. This kind of patience is much harder for me to apply. I want to make immediate adjustments and changes if I denote trouble. I don't love research or reviews. I just want to jump in and hope for the best. My better half has allowed me to see the error of my ways while reminding me that every single person needs more patience in life. It's not a natural instinct. Look at Adam and Eve, they probably should have pondered and prayed longer before listening to the serpent, but they made a "quick" decision because they felt confused, scared, and humiliated. If you ponder it, God is never in a hurry. He has no problem watching the world at war with each other because he knows what eternity looks like. He didn't plan for war; he doesn't enjoy watching his loved ones perish, but he is eternally patient.

 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

"A thousand years in your sight
    are like a day that has just gone by,
    or like a watch in the night." Psalm 90:4


I will continue to be thankful that my patience is still growing, and I am learning along with my little  loved ones. My Roman has even taught me to sing a sweet song of joy when everything in me wants to scream alongside my screaming kiddos. It certainly changes the atmosphere. As does a little fresh fall air...

This sweet boy is literally becoming a little boy. He looks so grown up in his brothers' fall clothes!

And this one is still my baby too, but he's racking leaves now!

This one couldn't be sweeter if he tried. 

And this big boy still loves his rocks, water, and occasional bird-siting!

We love our fall leaf piles!

I can't keep up with little Luca, he wants to do EVERYTHING his brothers do.

Including brush his own tooth

And sit on the potty!

Speaking of big kids, look who is reading to the younger kindergarten class all by himself!

My little reader

I can't get him to stop growing up!

But a daddy package prank got all to slow down for a bit. If only I had recorded his scream!! ;D

Thanksgiving songs with Levi. He wore the clothes this year!

And sang the songs

After school dates are the best!

Levi's face when I was in the lead of "war cribbage"

Levi's face when he beat me! His trash talk was my favorite thing ever!

We have already brought Roman to the hospital since his second fever virus in two weeks hit this week. Thankfully it's not related to his GI issues and merely another round of viruses between brothers. We are scheduled for his endoscopy/colonoscopy on December 6. Please pray for patience through that process too! We may or may not get answers, but at least we'll cross some things off our unknown list.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Corinthians 4:17


~Patience Buster