The preparations

The week before our new baby was suppose to arrive in our home, there was a sort of bittersweet nostalgia that seems to accompany me before each new child arrives. It's that bitterness of losing the current comfortable experience mixed with the sweetness of getting to experience a new comfort. I know some people shudder at the thought of adding sleepless nights, additional noise, and another mouth to feed, but for some reason God has given me the gift of seeing new life with new eyes. The idea that I get to see new life form on Earth still astounds me. The knowledge that they are little for such a little time still moves me. And the understanding of how little control I have over each child's life still humbles me. There may have been a twinge of sadness thinking about losing our family of five, but remembering how sweet each addition has become gave me excited anticipation as we approached a family of six.
We enjoyed the last week despite the boys getting sick prior to baby's arrival and despite a moment of random panic. I can tell you that I haven't felt concerned about having another baby for the last nine months, but I believe there is an evil that wants to steal our joy when we least expect it. The night before my intended surgery, a random attack of anxiety literally woke me from sleep. With cold sweats, nausea and fear, I couldn't rationally say what I was worried about, but I couldn't kill the panic on my own. I asked for pray and with truth spoken all those awful symptoms ceased immediately! There was no denying the power of prayer! There is a battle of good and evil constantly working in our world, and only truth can set us free.
I am so thankful for these summer days I've spent with my boys, and excited to say we will continue to have dirty days filled with No Girls Allowed (except mama). A new boy is in our home! Pictures of baby Luca Blair Smith to come...he better like to dance!