Eyes on me

Happy Father's Day daddy!

A dancer learns early on that in order to keep from getting dizzy while turning through multiple pirouettes, "spotting" is key. You have to keep your eyes on one designated spot ahead of you and maintain your eye contact with that spot as long as possible while you spin. I'm sure a tight rope walker would vouch for the same type of focus while balancing on a piece of wire. When you start to look around at your surroundings the room can begin to spin, you fear all the possible injuries that seem to currently await you, and you forget your core strength.
When Jesus told Peter to join him by foot out on the big blue sea, Peter quickly jumped at the chance as a child fearlessly jumps into his father's trustworthy arms. However, when Peter lost his focus on Jesus and began to look around, he realized the insanity of what he was doing. The wind was blowing, the water was cold and dark, and no doubt he thought about the fact that he was a mere human being walking on water! Then, he quickly began to sink, screaming for Jesus' help. Up until that moment though, he hadn't thought it was a crazy idea.

I felt a lot like Peter this past weekend. We have been working to advocate for our little man to come home sooner rather than later, but as a nearing departure date is discussed, I stopped looking up and began looking around me. How in the world can I take care of two little boys in my own home when one of them still drops his oxygen rate, coughs until he chokes, needs food through a tube in his intestines, and requires daily physical therapy? That's when God reminded me of Peter. When I take my eyes off of Jesus, I get scared and overwhelmed, but when I go back to him, I am reminded that none of this is a surprise to God. He knew Levi would be born this way, and he chose me to be his mommy. He made both my boys just for Matthew and I, and He made us for them. Moreover, when I hear about our church friends preparing their precious baby for brain surgery this week, I take a step back and realize how easy it will be to care for my children. God truly never gives us more than we can handle WITH Him. On our own, it is certainly way too much, but with His perfect life-giving hands, we are never in too deep. In fact, it will feel at times as if we are walking on water.


Currently, Levi is unable to maintain gastric feeds. He was spitting up way too much, so they took out his NG tube, and he is only getting food through one tube in his nose (the least amount of tubes he's ever had in his nose and throat) into his intestines- TP tube.

Please pray that the GI doctor who needs to reevaluate Levi will recognize Levi's need to get all tubes out of his throat. We actually believe (along with many of Levi's favorite nurses) that the surgery to put the tube directly into his stomach will be best for him.
As we wait a little longer to see how Levi does with just the one tube, we are praying:

- Levi to be home in the next 4 weeks
- Levi to get a G tube and handle stomach feeds that way
- Levi not to need any other surgeries
- Levi to stop coughing and choking (still possible reflux mixed with positional obstruction)
- Matthew, Silas, and I to be ready and prepared for Levi to come into our home

Thank you so much for your constant prayers! We have so much joy in our home, and we know that this experience has amplified the simple moments to be lasting memories... like keeping Silas up late so he can catch fireflies in our backyard.

I never really noticed that our favorite sandbox was courtesy of our favorite hospital. It felt like Levi was there with us!

God bless you!

~Water Walking Buster